This week on Facebook…
Top 20 Status Updates found on FB:
- Dear Mother-in-law, “Don’t Teach me how 2 handle my children, I’m living with one of yours & he needs a lot of improvement.
- When you post an Instagram, you should have to write what number try that photo was.
- Real friendship is lending your Facebook so they can stalk their ex.
- There’s someone out there for everyone. All you have to do is sort through 6.93 billion people. Good luck.
- If the replies you get from text messages consist of only one word, take the hint.
- Indecisiveness is just mental constipation.
- Sweating is for people who do stuff.
- “How do you expect kids to listen to their parents when Tarzan lives half naked, Cinderella comes home at midnight, Pinocchio lies all the time, Alladin is the king of thieves, Batman drives at 200 mph, Sleeping Beauty is lazy, and Snow White lives with 7 guys. We shouldn’t be surprised when they misbehave, they get it from their storybooks!”
- Time travel isn’t as fun as it was in 2145.
- It’s that time to year to find out what your friends with pools have been up to since last summer.
- It must suck to be Spanish speaking person who doesn’t understand the English phrase “If you’d like to continue in Spanish…”
- Closing all the internet windows by the time your boss gets to your desk is like getting the keys into the door before the killer gets you.
- When everyone at the bar knows who you are, it’s time to move on.
- “I could watch him play video games for hours,” said no one’s wife, ever.
- Time for my weekly game of let’s-see-how-long-I-can-drive-with-my-gas-light-on.
- If you get a booty call at 3:00AM…You probably weren’t first on the list.
- I will not rest until I’ve cured insomnia!
- Almost 7 billion people on the planet and I find about 10 of them somewhat tolerable once in a while.
- Facebook: a place where people announce their problems to the world but not to the person they have a problem with.
- If you don’t wake up, eat & then go back to sleep, you’re doing Sunday wrong.
Yesterdays Status Updates… | Free Timeline Covers
EPIC Cow Photobomb…
Milk, it does a body good. SHARE!
Hired Singer Surprises DMV Worker:
Awesome serenade my only question is… where is the 2hour wait line? DMV Fail! Great serenade though ;) And, yes we know very well that Valentines Day is over. But, this video was just too hilarious to pass up. Share it with your Facebook friends for instant likes.
Lots more status updates, funny pictures, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Have a great weekend, we’ll see you on Monday!
