Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

• This is how my week goes: Mooooooooooooonday Tuuuuuuuuuuuuesday Weeeeeeeeeeednesday Thuuuuuuuuuuursday FridaySaturdaySunday.  (From our 4.5Star Rated: ★★★★★ iPhone App ★★★★★)
• I can read Spanish, German, Italian, and French…so long as it’s written in English.
• Only a few more days until those “yo, 2012 is about to be my year” status updates..
• Hey mom?” “WHAT!?” “Nevermind you`re not in a good mood.
• Facebook : Posting 100′s of statuses in a day = OBSESSED, Twitter : Posting 100′s of tweets in a day = NORMAL.
• It’s almost 2012 and we’re not driving dragons? The future sickens me.
• Some people don’t poop, crap just comes out of their mouth 24/7. (91+Likes in 12 minutes – Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page )
• I heard you’re a player. Nice to meet you. I’m the coach.
• Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
• People say that things happen for a reason. So when I hit you up side the head, remember I had a reason.
• ☑ Eat ☑ Sleep ☑ Facebook ☑ YouTube ☑ Twitter
• I vow to only drink on days ending in the letter “Y”.
• A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
• You never hear skinny people saying, “I’m just small boned.”
• Whenever you are feeling down, remember, today you broke your personal record for days without dying!
• Facebook poking started in prison.
• That awkward moment when you finish a good book / TV series and you have to face the reality of your boring life.
• To all vegetarians, although I love you dearly, my food poops on your food. (From Twitter: @FreeFunnyStuff )
• Learn to appreciate what you HAVE…Before time forces you to appreciate what you HAD.
  

Baby Sloth is adorable…

Baby Sloth got a great little Christmas Present. Share with your Facebook friends and see what they think of this cute little guy :)

Amazing Dog Gives Pants a try:

Click here to view the embedded video.

LOL, that was ah-mah-zing! Post on your Facebook wall and watch the comments & LIKEs roll in.

If you need more funny statuses, hilarious pictures, and amazing videos… Simply, “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Use our amazing FREE Facebook App  for 100k+ Facebook statuses to choose from!

Status Updates that get LIKEs:

• That awkward moment when two people start a conversation on your facebook status.  (From our 4.5Star Rated: ★★★★★ iPhone App ★★★★★)
• I hate it when people are at your house and ask, “Hey do you have a bathroom?” Nooooo not at all, we all dump in the yard.
• All bad decisions are ultimately made using the same piece of resounding logic: “Screw it.”
• The road to success is always under construction.
• I can tell I really must like a TV show if I’m not messing around on my phone or laptop while I’m watching it.
• People who first meet me think I’m quiet. But people who have known me for a long time wish I was.
• I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
• There are 3 levels of pain. 1. Pain 2. Excruciating pain 3. Stepping on a Lego (202+Likes in 11 minutes – Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page )
• Ambulances and women have a lot in common… they both make a ton of noise to let you know they are coming!
• The awkward moment when you look over at the car next to you and someone is already staring at you.
• I’m not lazy, I’m energy efficient.
• I should be a garbage collector because I’m apparently really good at picking up trash.
• Universal truth: Everyone who grew up in the 80′s has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.
• That AWSOME moment when you kill all the pigs with one bird.
• I stay up all night and regret it in the morning.
• A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.  (From Twitter: @FreeFunnyStuff )
• ┏(-_-)┛┗(-_- )┓┗(-_-)┛┏(-_-)┓Everyday I’m shuffling.
  

Cat is just sending some gifts for the holidays…

LOL! Share that with your Facebook friends and see what they think of those two little troublemakers :)

Bear just wants to say HELLO:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Why is that fence so small!?!? Scary but, hilarious at the same time. Post that LIKE-magnet on your FB wall and watch the comments fly in.

Enjoy more funny statuses, awesome pictures, and epic videos… Simply, “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Or, use our amazing Facebook App  for 11,001+ of Facebook statuses to choose from!

Funny Facebook Status Updates:

• I reserve the right to judge you for doing things that I also do.  (From our 4.5Star Rated: ★★★★★ iPhone App ★★★★★)
• That mini heart attack when you can’t feel your phone in your pocket!
• When I have children I’m going to make them watch the movie 2012 and tell them I survived that.
• I wonder why it is, that young men are always cautioned against bad girls. Anyone can handle a bad girl. It’s the good girls men should be warned against.
• LIKE If you’ve ever laughed so hard, no noise comes out, so you sit there clapping like a dumbfounded seal.
• Spongebob: “Can you hear me?” Patrick: “No, It’s too dark.”
• I’m A Smart Person….I just do stupid things.
• Girls fall in love with what they hear, boys fall in love with what they see. That’s why girls wear makeup, and boys lie. (148+Likes in 15minutes – Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
• Once they stop talking to you, they start talking about you.
• I’m pretty sure Whoopi Goldberg is Lil Wayne’s real mother..
• EGSG «—- Scrambled eggs.
• Sometimes I wonder if teachers gossip about students in the break room.
• I don’t think I’ve ever heard a car alarm go off for a legit reason..
• “OMG ARE YOU OK!?” ‘Oh yeah I’m fine, I Just like bleeding for fun.’
• Don’t you hate it when people just randomly tag u in their Facebook post!?
• I’m really a very persuasive person. I can convince myself of anything.
• Those really long car rides with your family and you just blast your iPod, look out the window, and block out the world.
• I thought about exercising all day long. I am so exhausted. (VIA Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
• When it comes to affairs of the heart, I try to avoid EMTs, electric paddles and the word “CLEAR!”

11,001+ GREAT Status Updates…

OLD Facebook: Don’t like the new Facebook look? Follow these instructions to get your old look back:
1. Go to “account settings”
2. Click on English UK
3. Enjoy everything the way you used to.

The ULTIMATE Internet MeMe Picture:

Now, that is a picture that has something for everyone! [Via Imgur]

Best Unexpected Prank EVER?

Click here to view the embedded video.

Post that one on your Facebook wall and watch the LIKEs and Comments pour in! Hilariously well executed prank :)

Funny Facebook Status Updates:‎

• Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever. (From our ★★★★★ iPhone App ★★★★★)
• No, I’m not feeling violent, I’m feeling creative with weapons.
• Don’t marry a tennis player – love means nothing to them.
• “Spelt” is a type of wheat. “Spelled” is what you just did incorrectly.
• I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
• Vacation is what you take when you can’t take what you’ve been taking any longer.
• Facebook is a like real life in that I don’t think of the witty reply until 5 or 6 days after the conversation happened. (106+Likes in 18minutes – Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
• When my choice is to be kind or to be right, I choose to be kinda right.
• The only yoga stretch I’ve perfected is the yawn.
• If you don’t have a sense of humor, then you might not have any sense at all.
• Meeting men at bars is like window shopping. You’re looking at fancy clothes on a bunch of dummies.
• Blue eyes ✔ Blonde Hair ✔ Perfect body ✔ Adorable face ✔ A heart made of gold ✔. AVRIL IS BEAUTIFUL
• Distance never separates two hearts that really care.
• What are you doing here? Was there a jailbreak at the zoo?
• I hate people who speak for other people, and so do you.
• Bank of America is firing 3500 people. Hope they don’t fire that one guy whose counter is open.
• Hey, look at that. It’s take Facebook to work day AGAIN! (VIA Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
• Be safety conscious. 80% of people are caused by accidents.

If there was an “ENEMIES” Button on Facebook…

That button would be EPIC! Post that picture on your wall and see what your friends think.

Ultimate Fail:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Just kidding, no one was hurt during the filming of that. Those kids put on a good act though :) Post that one for tons of LIKEs and quality commentary.

More great status updates, awesome pictures, and funny videos? “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Visit our awesome Funny Status section for thousands of Facebook statuses to choose from!

16 Very Cool Status Updates:

1. Enough with the procrastination, it’s time for excuses. (From our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
2. Sunny today with a slight chance of me going outside to enjoy it.
3. Facebook is the adult way of having imaginary friends.
4. I have some pretty hilarious inside jokes with myself.
5. On a scale of 9 to 10, how would you rate me?
6. You always remember your first crush. Mine was Orange.
7. If all men are the same, why do women take so long to choose one ?
8. All mothers have intuition. Great mothers have radar. (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page , 100+ LIKES in 5 minutes)
9. If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
10. The really scary part of middle age is you know you’re going to grow out of it.
11. Why do stores always put their slowest clerks in the “express” lane?
12. Children are natural mimics who act like their parents, despite every effort to teach them good manners.
13. I can rise and shine. But not at the same time.
14. It’s always so embarrassing when you are having a conversation in your head and you realize you are making faces that go along with the silent conversation.
15. Just for the sake of argument, let’s say I’m right about everything. (VIA Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
16. Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet? That thing hurts!

We’ve all been here…

Next time you’re parking illegally remember this video…

Click here to view the embedded video.

A proactive politician that actually gets something done.  Now, that is something we can all get behind!

Need more funny status updates, awesome pictures, and epic videos? “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Visit our awesome Funny Status section for thousands of Facebook statuses to choose from!