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Funny Statuses, Asian Babies Dancing, and 1 Happy Puppy

July 25, 2011

Get LIKEs post these..

Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

  • When someone says, “Expect the unexpected,” I like to punch them in the face to express my disagreement.  (From our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
  • Mondays aren’t so bad…it’s my job that sucks.
  • Don’t think of yourself as a failure, think of yourself as unspoiled by success.
  • The grown up version of Tetris is loading a full dishwasher.
  • Just saw a guy using a payphone. I can only assume he’s being told where to deliver the ransom money
  • I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you!!
  • 92 percent of Americans get inappropriately excited when there’s a t-shirt cannon present.
  • Some guy just gave me half of a peace sign. (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page , 99+ LIKES in 10 minutes)
  • Hard work never killed anybody, but it does keep you off Facebook.
  • Some guy waved to me and then walked up and said, “Sorry, I thought you were someone else.” I said, “I am.”
  • The first step is admitting you’re a problem.
  • If anyone catches me singing in my car, my immediate reaction is to stare at them until it is equally awkward for both of us.
  • It’s cool…I don’t care, you don’t have to LIKE me…..I’m not a FACEBOOK STATUS!
  • By the time things get in my price range they’re labeled antiques and the price goes up again.
  • Born free. Now, I’m expensive.
  • To err is human, to forgive is divine. In other words, the forgiving is somebody else’s job.
  • It’s okay to be ugly…but aren’t you overdoing it?
  • Anything in parenthesis can (not) be ignored. (Our Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
  • If lemons hand you life, you’re probably dyslexic.

Thousands More Funny Status Updates…

Ridiculously Happy Puppy…

Extra Happy Doggie

If that doesn’t brighten your day than I don’t know what will! Bring some joy to your FB Friends lives and share that pic.

2 Asian Babies Dancing to Outkast:

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Post that one to your Facebook wall and you’ll get tons of comments & likes!

Need more funny status updates, awesome pictures, and epic videos? “Like” our FB Fan Page& Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Visit our awesome *NEW* Funny Status section for thousands of Facebook statuses to choose from!

Filed Under: Facebook Status Updates Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

Cat Attacks Printer, Super Cute Tiger Cub, & 18 Funny Statuses

July 22, 2011

Get Comments & LIKEs by posting these…

Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

  1. I’m not a vegetarian but I eat animals who are. (From our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
  2. OMG! I can levitate birds!
  3. School may be hard, annoying, and irritating. But admit it, you’re going to miss it when it ends.
  4. I’m off for a quiet beer. Followed by fourteen noisy ones.
  5. I’m not afraid of hard work. You can tell by the way I fight it.
  6. How do beautiful people travel? Because they certainly don’t appear to be using airports.
  7. Everyone has pretended to die infront their pets to see if they would do anything.
  8. There’s too much emphasis put on winning in life. I’m just trying for a participation ribbon.
  9. That mini heart attack when you think you’ve lost something. (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page , 45+ LIKES in 9 minutes)
  10. How can there be self help groups?
  11. I’ll never forget the first time we met. Although, I will keep trying.
  12. My wife says I talk while I sleep. But I’m skeptical. Nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
  14. Children are a great comfort in your old age. And they help you get there faster, too.
  15. I don’t understand you. You don’t understand me. What else do we have in common?

    History will judge us thusly: They couldn’t cure cancer, but they devised 50 different kinds of Cheerios.

  16. Do gun manuals have Trouble Shooting sections?
  17. Foreign Aid: The transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries. (Our Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
  18. Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?

Thousands More Funny Status Updates…

Just an insanely cute Tiger cub that is all…

Who isn’t going to comment and LIKE that picture?

Cat Attacks Printer:

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LOL, The cat is just doing what we all want to do to our printer.

Need more funny statuses, awesome pictures, and epic videos? “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Visit our *NEW* Funny Status section for thousands of Facebook statuses to choose from! We’ll see you on MONDAY for more Funny Statuses!!!

Filed Under: Facebook Status Updates Tagged With: , , , , ,

Fantastic Ideas for Funny Status Updates

April 13, 2011

Post these hilarious Status Updates and get tons of comments & likes…

Funny Statuses for FB:

  • Quitters never win, winners never quit. But those who never win and never quit are idiots. (Courtesy of our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone/iPod App)
  • A bird in the hand is the best way to eat chicken.
  • When in doubt, poke it with a stick.
  • Nothing will dispel enthusiasm like a small admission fee.
  • I have an on again off again relationship with clothing.
  • You have the right to remain silent. So please shut up.
  • I want to have 3 kids and name them Ctrl, Alt and Delete. Then if they mess up I will just hit them all at once. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  • The only thing keeping me from driving off this bridge is the insurance rate increase if I survive.
  • It is far better to be alone, than to wish you were.
  • There’s always that one person who makes you wanna raise your middle finger every time they speak to you.
  • Getting overwhelmed with the amount of things to do and ending up not doing anything at all.
  • I feel like a 20-year-old. But there’s never one around.
  • Roses are red. Violets are blue. Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don’t be mad, I’ll be there too. Not in the cage but laughing at you.
  • Old is when your sweetie says, “Lets go upstairs and make love,” and you answer, “Honey, I can’t do both!”

Funny Picture to Post:

I don't know if your new friend can come in.

I don’t know if your new friend can come in.

Funny Video to Post:

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Watch your pens around those Czechs!

If you still need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus where you can submit statuses and vote on them!

Filed Under: Facebook Status Updates Tagged With: , ,

Silly Status Updates that will get you LIKES

April 11, 2011

Funny Status Updates that will get you likes…

  • Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.
  • Changed all my passwords to “incorrect” . So my computer just tells me when I forget.
  • I’m tired of being dissed by automated restroom paper towel dispensers. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  • In my experience, less than 40% of people wearing “Duke” sweatshirts are actual dukes.
  • “I’ve had enough of your crap” ~ toilet paper on strike.
  • Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
  • I came, I saw, I deleted all your files.
  • Cops: “Please step out of the car” Me: “I can’t. I’m drunk. You get in.”
  • Marriage means commitment. So does insanity. Coincidence?
  • You’re only young once. If you act like a fool after that, you’re gonna need a new excuse.
  • I won’t rest until I find a cure for Insomnia.
  • Q: How many bears would Bear Grylls grill, if Bear Grylls could grill bears? A: As many bears as Bear Grylls’ grill can bear.
  • It’d be pretty messed up if the cure for cancer was in those end-slices of bread.
  • When I meet a celebrity I like to bring a ceiling fan with me so I can be all “Nice to meet you. Big fan”.
Funny Tweet of the Day: Wouldn’t it be weird if you met someone from twitter in real life and all they did is say random one-liners every few minutes?

Funny Picture to Post:

hilarious rollercoaster pictures

Epic roller coaster Jenga.

Have an iPhone or iPod Touch? Download our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone/iPod App

Funny Video to Post:

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If you still need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  “Like” our FB Fan Page& Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus where you can submit statuses and vote on them!

Filed Under: Facebook Status Updates Tagged With: , , , , ,

24K Gold Status Updates for The Weekend

April 1, 2011

Make your Facebook friends laugh with these solid gold status updates that will leave them commenting and liking for more!

Hilarious Status Updates for your Weekend:

  • Progress is made by lazy men looking for an easier way to do things. (Courtesy of our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone/iPod App)
  • I wish girls came with a carfax.
  • I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
  • Why do people always say “No way I’m doing this,” right as they are getting ready to do the thing they don’t want to do?
  • This body was built for neither speed nor comfort. But it idles well.
  • A pessimist counting his blessings: 10 … 9 … 8 … 7 …
  • If you are what you eat, I’m dead meat.
  • I don’t usually pick up hitchhikers but this poor guy looks like he’s running late to hockey practice. He already has his mask on. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  • Ear wax is disgusting. But when you’re out of Vegemite, you’re out of Vegemite.
  • Prison is peculiar. All the pros are cons.
  • The thermostat was invented 125 years ago, but I have yet to work in an office with one that has anything but Africa and Sibera as settings.
  • Dont be afraid of change, its inevitable. Unless youre homeless. Then you might have to go around asking for it. By the way, I dont have any.
  • In a new poll, 80% of Japanese women admit to having faked origami.
  • You people don’t appreciate me enough. I’m moving my statuses to TBS.
  • I’m probably 0 for 400 in looking for safes behind wall paintings.
  • Life in a trash can stinks. (VIA our Tweeter:@FreeFunnyStuff )

Bonus Status:

You know you log on to facebook too much when your fingers type in “face” automatically regardless of your previous internet intentions.

Awesome Picture for the weekend:

Magical Light Bulb

Genius!!! Now, that is one awesome optical illusion turned reality! Post that to your wall and see what your FB Friends have to say.

Funny Video to Post:

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Have a wonderful weekend and please join us Monday for more hilarious content. If you still need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus where you can submit statuses and vote on them!

Filed Under: Facebook Status Updates Tagged With: , , ,
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