You are here: Home / Archives for funny facebook statuses

ASIMO Robot, UP Kid, & Funny Facebook Statuses

November 9, 2011

Get the LIKEs you deserve post these…

Funny Facebook Statuses:

  • Nothing makes me more nervous than receiving facebook emails after the weekend saying, “You have been tagged in a photo.”  (From our 4.5Star Rated: ★★★★★ iPhone App ★★★★★)
  • I love that moment when you catch someone doing something that they thought no one else saw them do.
  • A friend is someone who is there for you when he’d rather be somewhere else.
  • Bar Rules for MEN: No shirt, no service. Bar rules for WOMEN: No shirt, free drinks.
  • In 20 minutes 1,851,000 status updates are entered on Facebook.
  • My parents accused me of being a liar. I looked them in the face & said, “tooth fairy, Santa, Easter bunny.” & walked away like a boss.
  • The “people you may know” feature on FB should be renamed to “people that you know, but deliberately choose not to be friends with.”  (82+Likes in 8 minutes – Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page )
  • FACEBOOK: The second most popular word that starts with “F” and ends with “K”
  • My opinions are my wife’s, and she says I’m lucky to have them.
  • If you want someone to open a work email, you need a good subject line. “STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL” will get read every time without fail.
  • The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
  • When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
  • Look and you will see. Seek and you will find. Ask and you’ll get the answer. Knock and someone will open the door. ☺
  • What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.  (VIA Twitter: @FreeFunnyStuff )
  • A goal without a plan is just a wish.

The young Mr Fredericksen in Real Life:

The Kid from Up

Adorable little one! Post to your Facebook wall and instantly get LIKEd.

Honda’s new Robot:

YouTube Preview Image

The minute one of these fold clothes & do dishes, I’m buying it – no matter how much it costs! LOL :) Share on your Facebook wall and see what your friends think of this very humanoid robot from Honda.

Craving more funny statuses, awesome pictures, and epic videos? “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Use our amazing Facebook App  for 11,001+ of Facebook statuses to choose from!

Filed Under: Facebook Status Updates Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Pug Slide, Computer Problems IRL, & Funny Statuses

October 3, 2011

Get LIKEd post these…

Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

  • At least clean up the bathroom before taking your profile picture in there. (From our ridiculously funny: ★★★★★ iPhone App ★★★★★)
  • Just because I’m happy doesn’t mean you couldn’t make me happier.
  • It’s funny how fast you can get up in the morning once you’ve realize you overslept.
  • Ever wondered why there’s no window in the airplane’s toilet? Because, really, who’s going to see in?
  • Don’t believe everything you hear or anything you say.
  • I am what I eat. …mmmm, nuts!
  • Evolution is just nature’s way of issuing upgrades.
  • Facebook looks so boring on the outside, but once you start using it, its like NARNIA BRO! (112+Likes in 9.5 minutes – Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  • Silence is having nothing to say and saying it.
  • Live each day like you’re marked for deletion.
  • I drink so much this weekend, that if Dracula bit my neck, he’d get a Bloody Mary.
  • I’ve got about as much self control as two rabbits on a first date.
  • That awkward moment when you’re trying to explain how a song goes, but you really don’t want to sing it.
  • I love mankind. But, sometimes, I can’t stand people.
  • Thinking out loud. Hardly ever a good idea.
  • If you were born in the 90′s The best P.E. lessons involved a Rainbow colored parachute!
  • Watched Transformers today.I’ve spent 3 hours in my garage telling my car I know his secret. He’s shy.
  • Don’t play stupid with me – I’m better at it.  (VIA Twitter: @FreeFunnyStuff )

11,001+ Funny Status Updates…

Pug goes down playground slide, awesomeness ensues…

Pug goes down slide.

And you thought that slides were fun for humans? HA! Much funner for Pugs :) Post that your Facebook page to get tons of comments & LIKEs! [Source: Imgur]

Computer Problems IRL:

YouTube Preview Image

LOL! Puts your computer problems into context. That’ll make for some interesting comments on your FB Wall.

Want more funny statuses, awesome pictures, and epic videos? “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Use our *NEW* Facebook App  for 11,001+ of Facebook statuses to choose from!

Filed Under: Facebook Status Updates Tagged With: , , ,

Cuddle Dog, Old Guy Dances @Rave, & Funny Statuses

August 15, 2011

Awesome Statuses for every occasion…

Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

  • At least once in our life, we all have tried to balance the light switch in between the on and off position. (From our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
  • There’s probably no problem in the world that can’t be resolved by a good ol’ fashioned Facebook survey.
  • I can jump higher than mountains. You see, mountains can’t jump.
  • If you stop while you’re ahead, you get rear-ended.
  • I’ve never met an air conditioned room I did not like.
  • You don’t have to tell me I’m negative. I no.
  • When I think of a good status in the shower, I run out dripping & naked and post it before the internet ends and it’s too late.
  • I don’t understand you. You don’t understand me. What else do we have in common? (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  • I taught him everything I know and he’s STILL stupid!
  • No. My hair magically got shorter…
  • Don’t you know it’s rude to talk while I’m interrupting?
  • The awkward moment when a film says, ”based on a true story” and it automatically becomes 100 times scarier.
  • My wife says she enjoys my company. Good thing I own it.
  • Never trust a dog to watch your food.
  • I want a phone that does everything but ring.
  • When I have a boy I’ll name him ‘SPARTA’ so everytime i’m introducing him to someone I can shout THIS IS SPARTA !!!
  • I dont get many compliments, so I was suprised when the phone company called up to say I had an Outstanding Account. (VIA Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)

Wanna Hug?

Wanna Hug?

Must cuddle…. cannot resist the cuteness!!!  I’m sorry but, how freakin’ adorable is that?!?! Post that one on your Facebook for instant LIKEs.

The Old Dude Dancing at a Rave:

YouTube Preview Image

Want more funny status updates, awesome pictures, and epic videos? “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Visit our awesome Funny Status section for thousands of Facebook statuses to choose from!

Filed Under: Facebook Status Updates Tagged With: , , , ,

Funny Statuses for Valentines Monday

February 14, 2011

Welcome back friends!  Happy Valentines Day!!!  Here are some hilarious statuses for V-day lovers and everyone else…

Valentines Statuses: (From our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone App)

  • There is someone for everyone but wasn’t really thinking about you.
  • let’s make February 15th OUR Valentines Day.
  • don’t worry… it’s not contagious.
  • loves Valentines day, where nookie is only a box of chocolates away.
  • today I already killed some helpless flowers for you… what else do you want?!??!

Funny Status Updates for Facebook on Monday:

  • So far, this is the oldest I’ve ever been.
  • It’s not all about the money. It’s all about all crap I can buy with the money.
  • Fire hazards are never a good thing. Except maybe in golf. That would be awesome.
  • The answer may not lie at the bottom of a bottle, but I always like to check. ツ ( VIA our Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  • Losing weight is just a case of mind over fatter.
  • At the end of your life, you should get a rebate for however much time you spent learning cursive.
  • Back in my day, blankets didn’t have sleeves.
  • Facebook: For when the illusion of having friends is all you really need.
  • I’m not only a workaholic, I drink at home too.
  • Jail: the government’s way of sending you to your room.
  • I am everything I ever said I was and less.
  • Mr. T pitys me.
  • Hard work pays off but hardly working has better benefits.
  • How does a man take a bubble bath? He eats beans for dinner. (VIA our Twitter Account: @FreeFunnyStuff )
  • There are couch naps and bed naps. Bed naps are serious.

Have an iPad?  Check out the awesome *NEW* Funny Status Updates for Facebook HD app!

Funny Picture to Post:

Genius!  Post that one and watch some hilarious comments come in.

Funny Video to Post:

YouTube Preview Image

Who doesn’t enjoy themselves a talking dog!?!?  Certainly your Facebook friends will “Like” that video.

Thanks for stopping by, make sure to check in tomorrow for more funny statuses! If you still need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App.

Filed Under: Facebook Status Updates Tagged With: , , , ,

Funny Statuses Updates for a Super Weekend

February 3, 2011

Don’t worry we’ve got something for everyone in this weekends update. So go ahead and make some friends laugh this weekend…

Awesome Status Updates for the Weekend:

  • Vegetarian: Native American definition for “lousy hunter”. (From our recently updated: 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iOS App)
  • What is this superb owl of which you speak?
  • Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I assure you, it’s much more serious than that.
  • Q: What do call a Steelers fan holding a bottle of champagne after Super Bowl XLV. A: Waiter
  • Football combines the two worst features of American life. It is violence punctuated by committee meetings.
  • YOU’RE GETTING SNOW! AND YOU’RE GETTING SNOW! AND YOU’RE GETTING SNOW! -Oprah Winfrey. Meteorologist ツ ( “Like” our Funny Status Update Fan Page for daily Funny Status Updates)
  • What’s another word for ‘thesaurus’?
  • If you see an onion ring…answer it!
  • Maybe if my bosses saw how many statuses I can drop in a day, they’d stop saying I’m unproductive.
  • What’s the greatest worldwide use of cowhide?   A: to cover cows
  • We were without phone, TV and internet access for a few hours today. It was terrifying because I almost got some work done.
  • Note: All restaurants are drive-thru if you drive hard enough.
  • I won’t believe the Groundhog saw his shadow until he updates his Facebook status.
  • It’s amazing that even 20 years later, pretending to shoot heroin with an mechanical pencil can still be a great way to procrastinate.
  • What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.  (From our Twitter Account: @FreeFunnyStuff )
  • Warning: the internet may contain traces of nuts.
  • I like to write “Wake Up” on my To-Do list so I can start the day off accomplishing something.

Facebook Wall Picture to Post:

Senior citizens, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel they sure can Facebook.

Funny Video to Post:

YouTube Preview Image

Bonus Video: Check out this banned superbowl commercial NSFW.  Hilarious!

Have a good safe weekend and type your favorite statuses in the comments! If you still need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App.

Filed Under: Facebook Status Updates Tagged With: , , , , , ,
« Older Posts