Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

1. I gave my wife plastic surgery. I cut up her credit cards. (From our amazingly funny: ★★★★★ iPhone App ★★★★★)
2. Coffee makes it possible to get out of bed. Chocolate makes it worthwhile.
3. Q is just O with something in its teeth.
4. My stupid phone doesn’t have enough battery left to take any pictures, but it has enough battery to keep telling me that it`s low.
5. When people post statuses like “Dont text or call me! Bad mood!” Um No one was ever going text/call you in the first place.
6. Always be yourself, unless you can be a penguin. Then always be a penguin..
7. LIKE If your texting speed automatically increases when you’re angry.
8. Your clothes are making me extremely uncomfortable. Please, take them off.
9. I’m making a complaint to McDonalds, I found a fry in my salt.
10. Paperclip: The staple for people with commitment issues.
11. There’s no panic like trying to press “End Call” when you make an accidental call.  (160+Likes in 12 minutes – Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
12. Ah good ole, Facebook Mobile…or as I like to call it,”WALK ‘N STALK’!”
13. We need a horn that can be honk towards the people behind us in the car.
14. Easy IQ Test: starting from 160, subtract 10 points for each honk of a car alarm before the owner can figure out how to turn it off.
15. I just ran 3.5 miles in 30 minutes! Ha! Just kidding, I ate some ice cream.
16. Ah, Facebook Mobile…or as I like to call it,”WALK ‘N STALK’!”
17. I don’t want a ‘Perfect Relationship’. I just want someone who I can act silly with, someone who treats me right and loves being with me.
18. You see a mouse trap, I see free cheese and a challenge.
19. It isn’t what they say about you. It’s what they whisper.
20. \(._.\) TO THE WINDOWS (/._.)/ TO THE WALL…
21. Women say they love a man in uniform but when I go clubbing in my McDonalds outfit none of them will even talk to me.   (VIA Twitter: @FreeFunnyStuff )
22. In dog beers, I’ve only had one.

11,001+ Funny Status Updates…

This picture brings a new meaning to sub-woofers:

Awwwwwww, how adorable is that?!?!? Repost on your friends FB walls to get tons of great comments and LIKEs.

Awesome 5 Ball Routine…

Click here to view the embedded video.

How amazing is that? Post on your Facebook wall to get LIKEs galore.

Funny Statuses for Facebook:

• It used to be that, timelines were something on your face. [VIA Funny Status iPhone App ★★★★★ ]
• Just because we have 3 mutual friends doesn’t mean I know you!
• The favorite music of Irish teenagers is Sham-Rock.
• Ironically, it’s the getting ahead that I’m running behind on.
• Just took an inventory of my body and it appears to be overstocked in all the wrong places.
• I hate when websites ask, “Are you a human?” Umm hello? I’m obviously a unicorn.
• I want it clearly understood that I’m totally confused.
• No brain no pain.
• I couldn’t pull out of my parking space. Had to use my back-up plan.
• The awkward moment when you suddenly remember something really hilarious in a silent situation. (70+Likes in 6 minutes – Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
• If God had wanted you to talk more than listen, he would have given you two mouths and one ear.
• There are more men than women in mental hospitals, which just goes to show who’s driving whom crazy.
• Ask not what’s in your head, but what your head’s inside of.
• Travel is educational. It teaches you how to get rid of money in a hurry.
• Headphones definitely just tie themselves in knots while we’re not looking… http://fb.me/Zz6nouV5
• LIKE if you delete all your texts before you give your phone to someone else.
• I saw a baby with a shirt that said “Santa Claus doesn’t exist, but it’s okay cause I can’t read..”
• Some days I can’t stop talking. Some days I don’t want to talk at all.
• I work for a good cause. Cause I need money.
• I understand the concept of cooking and cleaning but not how it applies to me. (Tweet Us: @FreeFunnyStuff )

11,001+ Funny Status Updates…

They see me rollin’, they hatin’

How funny is that one? Post it on your Facebook wall and watch the hilarious reactions & comments pour in :)

Thunder LOLCats video:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Ahhh the interwebs! Always a good time, post that one on your wall to get some LIKEs from people that know what’s up.

Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

• If people could read my mind, I’d get punched in the fact a lot. (From our ridiculously funny: ★★★★★ iPhone App ★★★★★)
• The first step is admitting you’re a problem.
• All I want is a little more than I’ll ever get.
• A rumor goes in one ear and then out of many mouths.
• Never had a mentor. Unless tormentors count.
• If you think your dog can’t count, try putting three dog treats in your pocket and then give him only two of them.
• When I say “Nevermind.” I really mean you should’ve listened the first time. (180+Likes in 12 minutes – Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
• The Internet…all of the piracy and none of the scurvy.
• You look at them, They look at you, You quickly look somewhere else…
• I will call you back in 5 min! (A week goes by)
• That awkward moment when you have crunchy food in a room full of silent people.
• Have you noticed each generation is getting ruder and shorter?
• There’s no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous because no one wants to quit.
• At least a stalker is there for you.
• Anybody who thinks talk is cheap never argued with a traffic cop.
• The only time I’ve ever had a chip on my shoulder was when I tried to dump the entire bag into my mouth at once.
• Just because I don’t reply within 10 minutes doesn’t mean I hate you.
• Things I learned in school: 1. How to whisper 2. How to text without looking 3. How to look like I’m thinking.
• Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly.
• I missed my calling. It should’ve emailed.  (VIA Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
• If you are what you eat, I’m dead meat.

11,001+ Funny Status Updates…

Dos Equis Man on Status Updates….

LOL, I think everyone can appreciate that one :) and, if you’re the older relative – please keep that in mind when you’re commenting!

Weird Chinese Unicycle:

Click here to view the embedded video.

How weird is that?!? Post that to your FB wall and watch the comments pour in.

LIKEable Status Updates for Facebook:

• Don’t go to bed angry. Stay up and plot your revenge. (From our ★★★★★ iPhone App ★★★★★)
• Of course I know how to shut up. I just never know when to.
• My favorite color is chocolate.
• Deaf to bullshit, blind to fake shit. Stop wasting your time on people who don’t deserve to be an issue in your life.
• I’ve decided I’m going to start living my life to the fullest. Hey… Can you pass me that remote control?
• LIKE if you hate when you… say something funny & then someone says it louder & gets the credit.
• Cars should have a thing where if you drive around with your blinker on for too long, they explode.
• Coffee is like an early morning kick in the attitude.
• Here’s a joke for all you mind readers out there…
• Today I saw a baby with a bib that said “This dumbass put my cape on backwards.” (170+Likes in 11minutes – Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
• My keys always end up in the pocket opposite of my free hand.
• A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. But I suppose that’s not a problem for you.
• Laughing at your mistakes can lengthen your life. Laughing at someone else’s can shorten it.
• There are two kinds of people in the world: those who finish what they start
• You can own a dog, but you can only feed a cat.
• Everybody hates me because I’m so universally well liked.
• “In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, the oxygen masks will drop from overhead. For $15, you can activate it.”
• I’m ready to listen. Are you ready to think?
• How does a man show he’s planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one. (VIA Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
• Insanity. Not just a defense. It’s a lifestyle too.

Funny Picture to Post:

Another Funny pic: For the ladies looking for mr. right according to Disney.

Telemarketing Revenge:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Hahah, GENIUS! Post that one on your Facebook Wall to get tons of hilarious comments & LIKEs.

Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

• A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.” (From our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone App)
• Vene, Vidi, Vacuum. I came, I saw, It sucked.
• What’s the difference between a girlfriend and wife? 45 lbs
• How can I miss you if you won’t go away?
• My children need love the most when they deserve it the least.
• Breaking News: Cheese factory explodes. Nothing left but de Brie.
• Words: For when an emoticon just isn’t enough.
• Quit embarrassing me in front of my friends, iPod shuffle.
• Stephen Tyler looks like he’s made from leftover pieces of Mickey Rourke.
• One is the loneliest number. Seven is kinda racist. Nine needs to just come out already. Four drinks to forget. Three is angry, so so angry.
• I refuse to swallow my pride. The last thing I need in my diet right now is more empty calories. (From our Twitter Account: @FreeFunnyStuff )

I like being single. I’m always there when I need me. ツ ( “Like” our Funny Status Update Fan Page for daily Funny Status Updates)

Link of the day: Tips and Tricks for Facebook

Funny Picture to Post:

Just a boy and his elephant hanging out, no big deal.

Awesome Video to Post:

Click here to view the embedded video.

How epic was that?  Amazing!  That is Freddie Wong, special effects master and a YouTube legend and he makes an awesome video like that every week.  Make sure to check him out! If you still need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App.