Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

• I wish I could commute by roller coaster. (From our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
• I’d be more optimistic if I thought it would help.
• You want to know who the perfect man is? Mr. Coffee
• With age comes new skills. You can laugh, cough, sneeze and pee all at the same time.
• I’m not getting old. I’m becoming a classic.
• A dog made out of diamonds is everyone’s best friend.
• How is it that “Fat Chance” and “Slim Chance” mean the same thing?
• Sick and tired of my computer being the only one of us getting naps and cookies. (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page , 70+ LIKES in 15 minutes)
• I AM doing something with my life. It’s called screwing around.
• The trouble with ignorance is it picks up confidence as it goes along.
• Time waits for no man, especially not a snowman.
• The bar was closed when I got there with a sign that said, “The door is alarmed.” I said to myself, “How do you think I feel?”
• Life is tough. It’s even tougher if you’re stupid.
• ▒▒broke his twit▒er but ▒▒▒▒ a little duct tape goes▒▒ a long w▒ay…. (From our Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
• If at first you don’t succeed, sigh, sigh again.

Thousands More Funny Status Updates…

Funny Picture to Post:

LOL! That one will get you tons of comments & likes!

Remember being a kid????

Click here to view the embedded video.

Post that with this status: Get off Facebook and Go Outside for a Little bit!

Want more funny status updates, awesome pictures, and epic videos? “Like” our FB Fan Page& Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Visit our awesome *NEW* Funny Status section for thousands of Facebook statuses to choose from!

Funny Statuses:

• Efficiency is a highly developed form of laziness. (Courtesy of our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone/iPod App)
• Ever notice that ‘What the hell’ is always the right decision?
• To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girlfriends.
• If anything is used to its full potential, it will break.
• Give a man a fish, and he’ll eat for a day. Give a fish a man, and it’ll eat for weeks!
• Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
• Deja Vu: When God thinks something is so funny he has to rewind it to show it to his friends
• I need an ex-boyfriend so I have something to do on Facebook at 3 in the morning.
• I will spend a minimum of three minutes looking for something resembling a spoon before breaking down and washing one.
• Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart”.
• I demand a “That’s what she said” button be added to Facebook
• The worst things in life are also free.
• It’s not a bald spot. It’s a solar panel for a love machine.
• Spring ahead, fall back asleep.
• People tend to make rules for others and exceptions for themselves.
• No one is listening until you fart.
• ☆:*´¨`*twinkle twinkle little star…point me to the nearest bar ٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶*´¨`*:.☆ (VIA our Twitter Account: @FreeFunnyStuff )

Check out *NEW* Popular Likes.  All the hot Facebook Likes in one place.

Funny Picture to Post:

That is awesome!  Good to see knit-wear making a comeback.  Drop that one on your Facebook profile and see what your friends think.

Funny Video to Post:

Click here to view the embedded video.

One word: HILARIOUS!

Bonus Video: Grandpa breaking it down to Poker Face by Lady Gaga.

Not enough funny content for your Facebook profile?  If you still need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus.

Funny Statuses for Facebook:

• A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist. (From our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone App)
• I can confidently say I’m 150 pounds of solid sexy. Plus 40-50 of squishy stuff.
• The best government job has to be assigning names to secret operations.
• ME: “Whoa. Put a combo on that meat locker.” HIM: “Huh?” ME: “Your fly is down, idiot.”
• A double entendre is when I don’t know what the hell you’re saying. Twice.
• You’re slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
• They should make a medal for anyone who uses a whole tube of chapstick before losing it. ツ ( VIA our Funny Status Update Fan Page)
• While my husband is gone I was cleaning…the Nutella jar. He will be impressed at how I gained 10lbs in 4hrs.
• Whenever I’m leaving the work bathroom and I see the cleaning lady waiting, we exchange the knowing look that I just crapped in her office.
• A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
• In this day and age it’s really a shame that laundry is still segregated.
• I’m not a stalker I’m just bad with goodbyes. (VIA our Twitter Account: @FreeFunnyStuff)

NEW iPad announced today!  Have an old crappy one?  Download our Funny Status Updates for Facebook HD app for iPad , over 3,000 Funny Statuses to choose from!  It’ll make your old hunk of junk iPad seem not so crummy.

Funny Picture to Post:

Heyyy there!

Have you checked out our new Search Facebook feature? It’s really neat, you can search status updates without signing in. Really great for anonymous FB creeping, some quality laughs, and research in general.

Funny Video to Post:

Click here to view the embedded video.

What a ridiculous prank!  You’ll get tons of comments on that video.

Not enough funny content for your Facebook profile?  If you still need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus.

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