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Beyonce Fan, Standing Cats, & 19 Funny Statuses

October 24, 2011 Leave a Comment

Get more LIKEs share these…

Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

  1. Make yourself at home… clean my kitchen. (From our 4.5Star Rated: ★★★★★ iPhone App ★★★★★)
  2. Why do people feel safe under blankets? It’s not like a murderer will come in thinking “I’M GOING TO KILL.. Ah darn he’s under a blanket”
  3. Don’t you think it’s time we stopped blaming our problems on people in our past and started blaming them on people in the future?
  4. Be safety conscious. 80% of people are caused by accidents.
  5. I don’t believe in miracles. I rely on them.
  6. If at first you don’t succeed, you’ll get a lot of free advice from folks who didn’t succeed either.
  7. Don’t kid yourself, we know you’re not “offline” on Facebook chat.
  8. When you hear your own voice recorded and think…”omg I sound horrible..”
  9. I’ve always wanted to get into a cab and yell “Follow that car!!!!”
  10. The ‘poke’ button on Facebook should be replaced with a ‘slap’ button. (239+Likes in 13 minutes – Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  11. Only true friends go straight to your fridge when they go to your house.
  12. It’s easy to spot people who can’t count to ten. They’re in front of you in the supermarket express lane.
  13. The thing that sucks about chilling with friends is that they see how much I stare at my phone & know how little I answer their texts.
  14. I don’t trust my shrink anymore. First, he tells me to speak freely, then he charges me for listening.
  15. In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
  16. Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.
  17. Dear Millionaires, if you don’t have a bookshelf that spins into another room, give me your money because you’re spending it wrong.
  18. Saying “Thats crazy” when you haven’t been listening to someone. (VIA Twitter: @FreeFunnyStuff )
  19. All answers questioned here.

Cat-evolution:

Standing Cats

 

A little bit scary and a little bit awesome. Post on your Facebook wall and see what your friends think :)

Beyonce lets a fan sing, hilarious…

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Hahah! How great was that?!? Share that video with your FB friends to get a ton of comments & LIKEs!

Craving more funny statuses, awesome pictures, and epic videos? “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Use our *NEW* Facebook App  for 11,001+ of Facebook statuses to choose from!

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Starwars Reaction, Epic Dog, & Funny Statuses

October 6, 2011 Leave a Comment

Be more LIKEable post these…

Funny Facebook Status Updates:

  • Serial killers rarely answer questions like, “Who’s There?”  (From our ridiculously funny: ★★★★★ iPhone App ★★★★★)
  • Facebook: For when the illusion of having friends is all you really need.
  • RIP Steve Jobs. You left your mark on our desks, on our ears & in our hands.
  • Experts say caffeine is bad for you, fat is bad you, sugar is bad for you… But don’t worry, because that’s bad for you too.
  • Zebras are just living, breathing barcodes.
  • That awkward moment when two people start a conversation on YOUR Facebook status.
  • There are two sides to every argument but I don’t have time to listen to yours.
  • If it wasn’t for stress, I’d have no energy at all.
  • I hate people that take ten years to text back.
  • We live in the “WTF” generation. [W]ikipedia [T]witter [F]acebook (160+Likes in 9 minutes – Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  • I’d like to leave you with one thought. But I’m not sure you have anywhere to put it.
  • The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.
  • Doctors write the prescriptions illegibly so you can’t see that it says: “This one had insurance. Don’t kill him.”
  • Women over 50 don’t have babies because we would put them down and then forget where we left them.
  • Quietest Place on Earth… The Ninja Library.
  • I either get what I want or I change my mind.
  • That was insensitive. I asked you to stop being stupid without considering how incredibly difficult that must be for you.
  • I told my relatives to think before they speak and I haven’t heard a word from them since.
  • No one would listen to you talk if they didn’t know it was their turn next.  (VIA Twitter: @FreeFunnyStuff )
  • Got pulled over today and cop said “papers”.. So I said scissors.. I WIN!!

11,001+ Funny Status Updates…

Is this how your Dog reacts when he gets a phone call?

EPIC dog

EPIC dog being epic, and that’s just it :) Post that on your Facebook wall for tons of great comments & LIKES!

Son’s Reaction to Starwars:

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Wow, I hope my son has the same reaction he does! That’ll make a great conversation piece on your FB wall.

Want more funny statuses, awesome pictures, and epic videos? “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Use our *NEW* Facebook App  for 11,001+ of Facebook statuses to choose from!

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NEMO found, Diva Lizard, & Funny Status Updates

September 14, 2011 Leave a Comment

Get more LIKEs post these…

Funny Facebook Status Updates:

  • Part of being sane is being a little bit crazy.  (From our *UPDATED YESTERDAY!* ★★★★★ iPhone App ★★★★★)
  • Quick question: If you’re in a car with someone who talks a mile a minute, will going 60mph in reverse shut them up?
  • I climbed the ladder of success, but I think the others were smart enough to take the elevator.
  • No matter how loud car alarms are, cars never seem to wake up.
  • Never bring a ladle to a knife fight. You’ll be able to dish it out but you’ll never be able to take it.
  • If you want to understand politics, you have to read between the lies.
  • A dry sense of humor is better than slobbering all over the place.
  • ‎*Wake up in middle of night, look at clock* yes I still have time to sleep. (80+Likes in 8minutes – Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  • Starbucks has a new 40th anniversary drink that’s sugar-free, fat-free and contains no whipped cream. It’s called coffee.
  • If you love something, let it go out with the guys once in a while.
  • When I was born I was so lazy, my parents had to feed me and dress me and carry me around with them all day.
  • It’s difficult to have a committed relationship with a schizophrenic. They’re always seeing other people.
  • I watch a scary movie, I’m perfectly fine, then I go to bed and remember EVERY SINGLE SCARY MOMENT IN THE MOVIE.
  • MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
  • My internet went down. By which I mean my neighbors changed their password.
  • Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.   (VIA Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
  • My body is a temple. Of doom.

DIVA Lizard:

DIVA Lizard

You Fancy huh? Your DIVA Facebook friends will appreciate that picture!

They found Nemo:

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That will brighten anyone’s day on Facebook. Post that one on your wall to get more LIKEs and thoughtful comments!

More great status updates, awesome pictures, and funny videos? “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Visit our awesome Funny Status section for thousands of Facebook statuses to choose from!

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Daily Status Updates that will get you COMMENTS & LIKES!

May 3, 2011 Leave a Comment

Welcome back to the #1 Status Update website. Updated daily with funny status updates for your Facebook profile…

Funny Statuses:

  • Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? (Courtesy of our ★★★★ Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★)
  • I love watching two girls meet each other. It’s easily the most fake thing I have ever seen.
  • I do ten sit ups every morning. It might not sound like much, but there are only so many times you can hit the snooze button.
  • If you can’t get a lawyer who knows the law, get one who knows the judge.
  • Wealthy people miss one of life’s greatest thrills…making the last car payment.
  • Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
  • Women like silent men, they think they’re listening.
  • I could talk about myself for hours. But the second someone asks me to tell them a little bit about myself? I can’t even remember my name.
  • I don’t know what I’d do without Facebook. Probably my work. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  • It is a sad fact that 50 percent of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the other half end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones!
  • Madness has no purpose or reason; but it may have a goal.
  • The world is round, so it has no point.
  • What’s another word for thesaurus? (VIA our Tweeter:@FreeFunnyStuff )
  • How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

Status of the Day:

Funny Osama Bin Laden Status Update

Funny Video for Facebook:

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If you still need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus where you can submit statuses and vote on them!

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“Where should you live?” quiz.

March 16, 2009 Leave a Comment

The newest “fad” on Facebook is the

“Where should you live?” quiz

this quiz helps you figure out where you should live.

To take the quiz simply search Facebook app page for the “Where you should live?” application.

Example:

Your name took Where should you live? quiz and the result is Australia
You belong in Australia! You like nothing less but hot weather, beaches and adventure! You may be isolated from the rest of the world, but you’re in paradise here! What more do you want: the sun in your face, friendly people with great accents, gorgeous beaches, wild animals, a middle of nowhere like there is no other, great cities, and lots to do! you’ll never be bored in Australia.

Pretty cool and certainly a big hit with your friends/family.  Happy Facebooking people!

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