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Lifting Weight, Laugh & Pop, & Great Statuses

November 29, 2011

Get more LIKEs per status share these…

Great Status Updates for Facebook:

  • That awkward moment when nobody likes your Facebook status.  (From our 4.5Star Rated: ★★★★★ iPhone App ★★★★★)
  • When FB stalking someone & I find out their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!
  • LIKE if you HATE running out of hot water in the middle of a shower
  • Why is it when you run into a spider web, you suddenly turn into a ninja?
  • If they ever put a DUI checkpoint at a Taco Bell drive-thru, it’s safe to say we’re all screwed.
  • I force myself not to look at the clock during class/work so time goes by faster.
  • Nothing makes me more nervous than getting FB msg saying, “You’ve been tagged in a photo” after a crazy weekend.
  • Approximately 80% of my regrets involve hitting “send”  (151+Likes in 8 minutes – Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page )
  • Greatest fear in life…. Someone will find a way to retrieve everything I’ve ever googled.
  • They should put put mini M&M’s inside regular ones and make M&M’s Pregnants.
  • I want to deactivate my FB account, but I know I would be proud of myself and want to announce it to everyone… on Facebook.
  • I grew up in the era where you had to go to channel 3 to play video games.
  • That person you hate, but constantly look at their Facebook profile!
  • Facebook: Should really change its name to StalkBook…
  • Dang, you look better than ever. LOL JK, you’ve been hittin up McDonalds lately, right?
  • The best nights are those when it never crosses your mind to update your Facebook status.
  • Anything not nailed down is a cat toy. (From Twitter: @FreeFunnyStuff )
  • If you don’t feel like writing a long email to somebody, just write a short sentence and then add “Sent from my iPhone.”

This little guy gets all the chicks…

Weight Lifting Puppy

Share that one on your Facebook page to get tons of LIKEs & comments :)

Baby Pops Bubbles whilst laughing hysterically…

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That is one baby that could brighten anyones day. Post to your FB Wall and watch the LIKEs fly right in.

Get tons more funny statuses, awesome pictures, and epic videos… Simply, “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Or, use our amazing Facebook App  for 11,001+ of Facebook statuses to choose from!

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Face Smush, Adorable Dog, & Top FB Statuses

September 13, 2011

Make your Facebook friends ROFL…

Top Status Updates for Facebook:

  1. Nobody’s phone is ever off. They’re lying. (From our *UPDATED TODAY!* ★★★★★ iPhone App ★★★★★)
  2. Poodles aren’t as absorbent as they look.
  3. The reason women ask so many questions is because they have an extra why chromosome.
  4. The trouble with my budget is there are far more ways to get into debt than there are to get out of it.
  5. Take your troubles like a man. Blame them on your wife.
  7. I used to be lost in the shuffle. Now, I just shuffle along with the lost.
  8. We make a living by what we earn. We make a life by what we give.
  9. People liking my status from a week ago on Facebook proves that I have stalkers.
  10. *Wake up in middle of night, look at clock* yes I still have time to sleep.
  11. Tired apostrophes risk falling into a comma.
  12. The 3 fastest means of communication: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman. (152+Likes in 11minutes – Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  13. One spelling mistake can destroy your life.A Husband sent this to his wife:I’m having a wonderful time wish you were her.”
  14. Compromise is hard to swallow because it never tastes like chocolate.
  15. My parents used to be happy when I took naps… but now they think I’m lazy.
  16. I don’t know my friends address but i know exactly where their house is! :)
  17. Vandals destroyed a bunch of road signs last night. They pulled out all the stops.
  18. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
  19. Life rarely hands me anything. Am I in the wrong line?  (VIA Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
  20. I thank, therefore you’re welcome.

I bwoke my ear…

I Bwoke my ear

Adorable puppy pictures will always get you LIKEs and comments on Facebook! Post this one and find out just how many.

Manatee Face Smush:

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Guess humans aren’t the only ones who do that! LOL :) Your Facebook Friends will love that video, add it to your wall.

More great status updates, awesome pictures, and funny videos? “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Visit our awesome Funny Status section for thousands of Facebook statuses to choose from!

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Angry Birds, Obama gets Stuck, and 15 Epic Status Updates

May 24, 2011

Welcome back! Make your Facebook friends revel in your wittiness by posting these…

15 Epic Status Updates:

  1. I can’t face my checkbook so I check my Facebook. (Courtesy of our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
  2. I hope I never meet the girl of my dreams. She’s seen me in a lot of awkward situations.
  3. Rule #0 of the Internet: Nothing you put online, even for a second, can ever be taken down. Drink that in and know it.
  4. The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
  5. Efficiency is a highly developed form of laziness.
  6. If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
  7. I wonder if the first person to ever pop corn thought they were under attack.
  8. I posted on your wall. No, not Facebook, look at the side of your house. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  9. Sometimes I make statements in the tone of a question?
  10. When impersonating a coworker, I like to add a little extra dumb to their voice.
  11. I hate three things in this world: math
  12. ME: “Whoa. Put a combo on that meat locker.” HIM: “Huh?” ME: “Your fly is down, idiot.”
  13. If it’s free, it’s advice; If you pay for it, it’s counseling; If you can use either one, it’s a miracle !
  14. Some people are wise, and some, otherwise. (VIA:@FreeFunnyStuff )
  15. Don’t forget how much dust you’re inhaling all the time everywhere.

Bonus Status of Wisdom: The only knowledge that can hurt you is the knowledge you don’t have.

SPOTTED: Angry Bird IRL

Angry Birds IRL

President Obamas Car Get’s Stuck:

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You thought your car troubles were bad? What do you do when your Presidential 2 ton limo-tank gets stuck on a curb?

Bonus Video: Girl rocks “Look at Me Now” by Chris Brown.

Need more funny statuses, silly pics, and awesome videos?  “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus where you can submit statuses and vote on them!

Filed Under: Facebook Status Updates Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Funny Statuses, Baby Body Builder, & College Baseball Jousting

May 17, 2011

Make your Facebook Friends have no choice but to comment and like you by posting these…

Funny Status Updates:

  • You’d think that after all these years of practice, I’d be good at waking up by now. (Courtesy of our Funny Status Updates iPhone App ★★★★★)
  • In an emergency, I`d probably write status about it before calling the police.
  • Youth is when we are always hunting greener pastures, and middle age is when we can barely mow the one we’ve got.
  • I work for a living, I don’t live for working.
  • Only in America… do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
  • I only make mental bets. And, coincidentally, I’ve lost my mind.
  • Facebook REALLY needs a ‘No one cares’ button..
  • People who persevere are annoying to the rest of us who’d rather quit and go drink.
  • If you watch Godzilla vs. King Kong backwards it’s about two monsters who forget their differences and build a city. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  • Girl: I`m jealous. Boy: Don`t be jealous,baby.. Girl: Why? Boy: `Cause you have something that they don`t. Girl: What? Boy: My heart.
  • Just when you think you’ve finally hit the bottom, someone tosses you a shovel.
  • You have two options, Be mine or make me yours see I am giving you two choices!!!
  • “A word to the wise ain’t necessary. It’s the stupid ones who need the advice.” – Bill Cosby (VIA:@FreeFunnyStuff )
  • Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
  • The only reason nice guys finish last is because they’re holding the door for everyone else.

Funny Picture to Post:

Baby Body Builder

Baby Body Builder! Post that on your FB wall and watch the comments roll in!

Funny Video to Post:

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Need more funny statuses, silly pics, and awesome videos?  “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus where you can submit statuses and vote on them!

Filed Under: Facebook Status Updates Tagged With: , , , , ,

FunnyStatuses for the Weekend

February 18, 2011

The wonderful weekend has arrived!  Don’t worry we won’t tell your friends if you borrow these…

The Best Funny Status Updates for Facebook (this weekend):

  • Alcohol is not the answer, it just makes you forget the question. (From our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone App)
  • Finally realizing that Hotel California is about Facebook. “…you can check in anytime you like, but you can never leave…”
  • Bacon and eggs walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.”
  • This census and Tax stuff is crap. I want to live in a country that doesn’t assign homework.
  • I just got a papercut… we’ll just see if I recycle this week… stupid tree.
  • I’m so thankful for my kids.If it weren’t for them I’d never know what a cool sound my vacuum cleaner makes when it sucks up Rice Crispies.
  • If Yao Ming decides to a get cat, he should name it Meow Ming. ツ ( VIA our Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  • Do you want to speak to the man in charge or to the woman who knows what’s going on?
  • Never assume anything but the position.
  • I would have e-mailed you sooner, but my cat ate my mouse.
  • I start to feel really anxious when my work piles up. I never know what to ignore first.
  • Forgive me Facebook, for I have sinned. It has been four days since my last tweet. Because, you know… booze and Words With Friends.
  • Stupid mistakes are made by others. I only make unavoidable errors. (VIA our Twitter Account: @FreeFunnyStuff )
  • Please don’t tell my three year old his oversized black calculator isn’t really an iPad. He’d be crushed to learn his dad lied to him.

Have an iPad?  Check out the awesome *NEW* Funny Status Updates for Facebook HD app for iPad.

Funny Picture to Post:

If Will Ferrell was a dog.

Epic Video to Post:

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Post that and watch peoples reactions.  What would you do???  I’d freak out!!! Awesome prank executed on a massive scale.

Funniest Thing On Facebook This Week: I Crashed Paris Hilton’s Birthday And Accidentally The Whole Cake

Have a safe weekend and stop back on Monday for more hilarious content. If you still need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App.

Filed Under: Facebook Status Updates Tagged With: , , , , , , ,