Funny Status Updates for Facebook. Hilarious Comedic Witty Status Updates about Life, Love, and everything in-between.

Funny Status Updates for Facebook - iPhone/iPod App ONLY $.99cents Funny Status Updates for Facebook App is ★★★Now Available for ANDROID★★★

Sort By:
Newest
Random
Most LIKEs:
48 hours
Week
Month
All Time

"Friends are the bacon bits in the salad bowl of life." -Homer Simpson

Facebook Quotes

05/01/2013

Friends are like shoes. We look for good-looking ones. But at the end, we choose the ones we feel comfortable with.

Cute Status Updates

03/11/2013

I would unfriend you but I enjoy laughing at your life.

Facebook Status Updates

01/06/2013

True friends greet each other with an insult.

Cute Status Updates

11/29/2012

Friendships must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness, and shenanigans.

Misc. Status Updates

10/31/2012

The best kind of stomach ache: when your friends make you laugh way too hard.

Cute Status Updates

09/01/2012

As your best friend, it’s my job to embarrass you.

Cute Status Updates

08/09/2012

Everyone knows someone whose laugh is always funnier than the joke.

Silly Status Updates

02/17/2012

Kids Vs. Apes = Good

01/24/2012

I'm great at remembering names. I just don't remember which one's yours. ツ

School Status Updates

01/16/2012

LIKE if you have that one friend that Laughs at everything. Even when it's not funny.

Life Status Updates

12/28/2011

A friend isn't someone who is nice to your face, it's someone who isn't rude to you behind your back.

School Status Updates

12/20/2011

Everyone has that one friend that has absolutely no concept of geography.

Family Status Updates

12/12/2011

THE AWKWARD MOMENT when you're telling your friend something hilarious and they're just like "you already told me.."

Awkward Moment When

10/27/2011

A friend would share a bag of chips but a best-friend would eat them all then give you the empty bag and say "You can have the rest."

Kid Status Updates

10/24/2011

The awkward moment when you're eating dinner at someone else's house and you don't like the food, but you have to pretend to like it.

Awkward Moment When

10/13/2011

"Hey its been forever, let's hang out" "No, its been forever for a reason."

Relationship Status Updates

10/12/2011

If friends could be bought at the store, I’d buy you. And I’d get a good deal because those “slightly irregular” bins are always discounted.

Family Status Updates

10/09/2011

Mirrors don't lie. Lucky for you, they can't laugh either.

Misc. Status Updates

09/25/2011

Never explain yourself. Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it.

Life Status Updates

08/05/2011

Categories