Funny Status Updates for Facebook. Hilarious Comedic Witty Status Updates about Life, Love, and everything in-between.

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LIKE If you've ever laughed so hard, no noise comes out, so you sit there clapping like a dumbfounded seal.

Facebook Status Updates

09/20/2011

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Phone Status Updates

07/05/2011

Pick a number, double it, add 10, divide it by 2, then minus it by the number you started with. LIKE if you got 5.

School Status Updates

06/15/2011

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

Love Status Updates

05/24/2013

Finding out your ex got fat is like finding 20 bucks in your pocket. Not life changing but definitely puts a smile on your face.

Relationship Status Updates

05/20/2013

Want to escalate an argument? Smile.

Life Status Updates

03/19/2013

The quietest people have the loudest minds.

Misc. Status Updates

02/21/2013

That awkward moment: When you're in the car, and you look at the people in the car next to you, and they're already looking at you.

Awkward Moment When

02/02/2013

Just because it"s called spandex..doesn't mean it should be put to the "how far can it expand" test.

Cute Status Updates

01/30/2013

That awkward moment when you're trying to dodge someone, and you both step the same way... twice.

Awkward Moment When

01/21/2013

LIKE IF you ever got caught in those "This is not what it looks like" moments.

Life Status Updates

05/01/2012

That awkward moment when you can't stop laughing while telling a joke and when your finally done your friends doesn't even get it.

Awkward Moment When

06/29/2011

fri(END] , boyfri(END] , girlfri(END] Everything has an END , exept for fam(ILY] .

Relationship Status Updates

06/28/2011

3 things I want in a relationship: Eyes that wont cry, lips than wont lie, and love that wont die. ♥

Love Status Updates

06/21/2011

Just because I don't talk to you, or text you first, doesn't mean I don't miss you. I'm just waiting for you to miss me.

Love Status Updates

06/15/2011

Hey, I found your Nose, it was in my business again.

Life Status Updates

06/03/2011

LIKE IF YOU CAN`T LIVE WITHOUT : ╔══════╦═╗╔═╦═══╦═╦═══╗ ║░╔╗╔╗░║░║║░║╚══╣░║░╔═╝ ║░║╚╝║░║░╚╝░╠══╗║░║░╚═╗ ╚═╝░░╚═╩════╩═══╩═╩═══╝

Symbol Status Updates

06/01/2011

try to say the letter `M` without your lips touching.

Silly Status Updates

05/26/2011

Avoid parking tickets by leaving your wipers on high.

Life Status Updates

05/24/2013

Everyone has that one friend you just can't bring anywhere cause they always embarrass you. If you can't think of who that friend is, it's you.

Silly Status Updates

05/24/2013

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