Funny Status Updates for Facebook. Hilarious Comedic Witty Status Updates about Life, Love, and everything in-between.

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Everyone knows someone whose laugh is always funnier than the joke.

Silly Status Updates

02/17/2012

Facebook's "People You May Know" = "People I Wish I Didn't Know."

Facebook Quotes

02/17/2012

You're good at giving advice, but not following your own.

Misc. Status Updates

02/07/2012

If you never jumped from couch to couch as kid to avoid the lava, then you missed out on childhood.

Cute Status Updates

01/29/2012

In a thousand years, archeologists will dig up tanning beds & think we fried people as punishments.

Women Status Updates

01/28/2012

The attractive face you pull just before a sneeze.

Cute Status Updates

01/24/2012

I'm painting a blue square in the backyard... so Google Earth thinks I have a pool.

Silly Status Updates

01/20/2012

iphone + imac + ipod + ipad = ibroke

Computer Status Updates

01/20/2012

Employee at Disney: Hey guys! I have a great idea! Instead of making new movies, let's just remake the old ones in 3D!

Movies / Televison Status Updates

01/20/2012

Yes I’ve made mistakes, life doesn’t come with instructions.

Life Status Updates

01/15/2012

The fake laugh you do when an old person cracks a joke.

Family Status Updates

01/07/2012

They say money can't buy happiness... but it can buy bacon, and that is pretty darn close.

Life Status Updates

12/24/2011

I'm not lazy, I’m energy efficient.

Life Status Updates

12/12/2011

What's a burnt pizza, frozen beer & a pregnant girl have in common? In each scenario there was a DUMBASS who didn't take it out in time.

Men Status Updates

11/07/2011

When I was born, I was so surprised, that's why I didn’t talk for a year and a half.

Silly Status Updates

11/03/2011

That awkward moment when I'm tired all day but when I lay in bed, I'm fully awake because of all the things on my mind.

Awkward Moment When

11/01/2011

THE AWKWARD MOMENT when you're telling your friend something hilarious and they're just like "you already told me.."

Awkward Moment When

10/27/2011

I'm actually not funny. I'm just really mean & people think I'm joking.

Cute Status Updates

10/13/2011

Dear Twitter, Thank you for killing my cell-phone battery on a daily basis. Sincerely Everyone.

10/05/2011

LIKE if you delete all your texts before you give your phone to someone else.

Phone Status Updates

09/29/2011

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