Funny Status Updates for Facebook. Hilarious Comedic Witty Status Updates about Life, Love, and everything in-between.

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The problem with the world today is that the smart people are full of doubts while the stupid ones are full of confidence.

Silly Status Updates

09/22/2012

Be yourself, you already have the costume.

Silly Status Updates

09/06/2012

Our plan is to have electronics that are so old that if anyone breaks into our house, they'll feel sorry for us and leave us some cash.

Computer Status Updates

09/04/2012

When people don't laugh at my jokes I just assume that they're not up to my level of comedy.

Silly Status Updates

08/24/2012

Having a sarcastic conversation with yourself when people are ignoring you.

Silly Status Updates

08/23/2012

The Worst Feeling: Seeing a police car make a u-turn behind you.

Misc. Status Updates

08/23/2012

You cannot talk while inhaling through your nose. LIKE if you tried!

Health Status Updates

08/13/2012

I hate when people don't understand my sarcasm. They ruin everything.

Misc. Status Updates

08/02/2012

There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.

Misc. Status Updates

07/16/2012

The annoying moment when I get comfy in bed and realize I forgot to do something.

Silly Status Updates

07/16/2012

LIKE if you had one of those pens with a million colors, and tried to push all the buttons at once.

Life Status Updates

06/05/2012

The awkward moment when your foot falls asleep so you just stomp around like a dinosaur.

Awkward Moment When

06/04/2012

I bet the "YMCA" dance is a lot harder to do in Chinese.

International Status Updates

06/04/2012

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

05/29/2012

I've been making the same mistakes in life for so long, I should just call them traditions!

Misc. Status Updates

05/29/2012

That awkward moment when someone is staring at you and laughing at the same time.

Awkward Moment When

05/16/2012

I hate it when I plan a conversation in my head and the other person doesn't follow the script.

Silly Status Updates

05/15/2012

You never realize how weird your friends are until you start to describe them to someone else.

Silly Status Updates

05/09/2012

I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue represent freedom until they are flashing behind you.

Misc. Status Updates

05/09/2012

MY Car will never have enough cup holders.

05/08/2012

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