Funny Status Updates for Facebook. Hilarious Comedic Witty Status Updates about Life, Love, and everything in-between.

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The single hand that wipes your tears during your failures is better than the countless hands that come together to clap you on your success.

Work Status Updates

02/28/2013

Don’t think too much. You’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.

Work Status Updates

02/27/2013

I'm convinced that the employees of Ikea were just used to be customers who didn't know how to get out and just gave up.

Work Status Updates

02/27/2013

You know what sucks? Overtime when you’re on salary.

Work Status Updates

02/25/2013

Jobs are like relationships. You have them, you cry about it. You don't have them, you cry about it.

Work Status Updates

02/18/2013

The internet becomes 100 times more entertaining when you have work to do.

Work Status Updates

02/04/2013

Once you find something you love to do, be the best at doing it.

Work Status Updates

01/30/2013

I wish I could have as much fun making money as I do spending it.

Work Status Updates

01/29/2013

To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities.

Work Status Updates

01/27/2013

I slept in too late on my day off… Now I have less time to do nothing :(

Work Status Updates

01/26/2013

Sometimes you can draw more inspiration from the people who don’t believe in you, then from the ones who do.

Work Status Updates

01/25/2013

The hardest part of bringing your lunch to work is resisting the temptation to eat it in the first half hour.

Work Status Updates

01/24/2013

Some people just lack the ability to realize that everyone in the room wants them to shut up.

Work Status Updates

01/23/2013

If you don't cuss when you drive you aren't paying enough attention to the road.

Work Status Updates

01/21/2013

Kill them with success and bury them with a smile.

Work Status Updates

01/20/2013

The most hated person in any workplace is the one who controls the thermostat setting.

Work Status Updates

01/17/2013

There are over 4 million workplace injuries reported every year. Play it safe...call in sick tomorrow.

Work Status Updates

01/14/2013

There's a moron in every office. They usually get paid more than you.

Work Status Updates

01/14/2013

My life is like 1-ply toilet paper..I get the job done but I have no idea how.

Work Status Updates

12/26/2012

FYI: If you crinkle your eyebrows while Facebooking, it'll look like you're working.

Work Status Updates

12/20/2012

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