Funny Status Updates for Facebook. Hilarious Comedic Witty Status Updates about Life, Love, and everything in-between.

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Monday: No. Tuesday: Ugh. Wednesday: Why. Thursday: Omg. Friday: Finally. Saturday: Yes. Sunday: Crying.

Work Status Updates

05/05/2013

For problems there is money. For solutions there is only innovation and ideas.

Work Status Updates

05/01/2013

I don’t pay good wages because I have a lot of money; I have a lot of money because I pay good wages.

Work Status Updates

05/01/2013

I hope this coffee gives me the energy to look busy all day.

Work Status Updates

04/30/2013

My Boss sent me home today. Apparently, "the later I get here, the quicker this ends" isn't the right answer for "why are you late?"

Work Status Updates

04/29/2013

It's amazing how quickly we forget the lessons of school. Employee morale would be much higher if we still had recess and naps.

Work Status Updates

04/28/2013

(B)uilt (O)n (S)elf (S)uccess.

Work Status Updates

04/28/2013

My boss wants me to keep my headphones volume low enough to hear my work phone ring AND stay awake at my desk like some kind of wizard.

Work Status Updates

04/23/2013

The problem with drinking with people from work is they're the ones I bitch about when I'm drunk.

Work Status Updates

04/18/2013

Life's too short to wake up in a bad mood- I save mine until I get to work.

Work Status Updates

04/08/2013

Success is a science; if you have the conditions, you get the result.

Work Status Updates

04/06/2013

If you cannot do great things, do small things in a great way.

Work Status Updates

03/30/2013

If it was easy, everybody would be doing it.

Work Status Updates

03/28/2013

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

Work Status Updates

03/27/2013

At work, when you don't know what to do, just walk fast and look worried.

Work Status Updates

03/25/2013

I just found a great new way to check email, Facebook, Twitter, chat with friends and buy stuff on eBay, all from one spot. I got a job.

Work Status Updates

03/25/2013

If my job was to browse the Internet and play on my phone, I don't know what I'd do to slack off, but I'm sure I'd find something.

Work Status Updates

03/24/2013

It seems like around 90% of my work day is spent between the hours of four and five o'clock.

Work Status Updates

03/12/2013

Every job is important no matter how small, so do your best. You never know who is watching and what it may lead to!

Work Status Updates

03/11/2013

If "dress for the job you want" were true, there would be a lot more people wearing capes.

Work Status Updates

03/06/2013

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