Funny Status Updates for Facebook. Hilarious Comedic Witty Status Updates about Life, Love, and everything in-between.

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My husband has made me laugh. Wiped my tears. Hugged me tight. Watched me succeed. Seen me fail. Cheered me on. Kept me going strong. My husband is a promise from God that I will have a friend forever. Put this as your status if you love your husband.

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08/11/2011

At 3 yrs "Mommy, I love you". At 10, "Mom whatever". At 16, "My Mom is so annoying". At 18, "I wanna leave this house". At 25,"Mom, you were right". At 30, "I wanna go to Mom's house". At 50, "I don't wanna lose my Mom". At 70, "I would give up EVERYTHING for my Mom to be here with me". You only have 1 Mom. Post this on your wall if you APPRECIATE & LOVE your Mom no matter if she is here or not!!

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08/14/2011

I love my mom no matter what we go through, no matter how much we argue, because I know, at the end, she’ll always be there.

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08/30/2011

Me, behave? Seriously? As a child I saw Tarzan almost naked, Cinderella arrived home after midnight, Pinocchio told lies, Aladdin was a thief, Batman drove over 200 miles an hour, Snow White lived in a house with 7 men, Popeye smoked a pipe and had tattoos, Pac Man ran around to digital music while eating pills that enhanced his performance, and Shaggy and Scooby were mystery solving hippies that…

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09/07/2011

Hey, the girl you just called fat?... She is overdosing on diet pills. The girl you just called ugly?... She spends hours putting on makeup on hoping people will like her. The boy you just tripped?... He is abused enough at home. See that man with the ugly scars?... He fought for his country. That guy you just made fun of for crying?... His mother is dying. Put this as you're status if you're against…

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10/02/2011

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on.…

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10/05/2011

Welcome to Facebook, the place where relationships are perfect, liars believe their own bullshit & the world shows off they are living a great life. Where your enemies are the ones that visit your profile most. Your friends & family black you, and even though you write what you are really thinking, there is always someone that takes it the wrong way.

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10/15/2011

Women are like apples on trees, the best ones are on the top. Men don't want to reach for them because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top because they value quality.

Viral Status Updates

12/20/2011

1. Find the song that was #1 the week you were born. 2. Find that song on YouTube. 3. Post it to your Facebook Timeline/Wall without shame. 4. Share your results here in the comments, too.

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01/05/2012

Facebook Duck Hunting : Every time you see someone doing the duck face in a photo comment "BANG". It's open season, so happy hunting.

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02/06/2012

Valentine's Day surprise: Copy and paste this into a Google search: sqrt(cos(x))*cos(300x)+sqrt(abs(x))-0.7)*(4-x*x)^0.01, sqrt(6-x^2), -sqrt(6-x^2) from -4.5 to 4.5

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02/09/2012

Cousins are usually the first friends we have as children. No one will ever understand your crazy family like your cousins do even if you haven't talked much lately. Share or LIKE this if you have the best cousins in the world!!!

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03/13/2012

Your brother is your first male friend in life. No one will ever understand your craziness like your brother… Even if you don't get together, or talk as much as you'd like, he always remains your friend… While people come and go in your life, your brother will always be in your heart for a lifetime. It's "National Brothers Week," so re-post if you have a brother that you love with all your heart.

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04/05/2012

What they did not want you to ever find out is that your generation, the generation born between 1980-1995, actually outnumbers the Baby Boomers. They knew that if you ever turned your eye towards political reform, you could change the world. They tried to keep you sated on vapid television shows and vapid music. They cut off your education and fed you brain candy. They took away your music and gave…

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04/17/2012

I find it strange that we live in a society that thinks being fat is genetic, but homosexuality is a choice.

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05/09/2012

What a woman needs is a guy who will protect her like she's his daughter, love her like she's his wife, and respect her like she's his mother.

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05/15/2012

Lick your lips 3 times , blink once, & keeps your eyes wide open until you LIKE this & I bet you will sneeze or yawn.

Viral Status Updates

06/04/2012

Please copy and paste this to your status if you're constantly being asked to copy and paste things to your status by friends who copy and paste things to their status. Many people won't copy and paste this, but my truly sarcastic friends will copy and paste it, because they know this was copied and pasted from a dear friend in need of more stuff to copy and paste. And if you don't copy and paste…

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10/14/2012

What really matters in a relationship? LIKE = looks . SHARE = personality ... Lets see who wins!!

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11/11/2012

If you can LIKE this in less than 3 seconds you are a ninja. Lets see how many ninjas there are on Facebook..

Viral Status Updates

01/16/2013

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