Funny Status Updates for Facebook. Hilarious Comedic Witty Status Updates about Life, Love, and everything in-between.

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The leading cause of death in mice is Scientists.

Silly Status Updates

05/26/2011

I wasn't ignoring you. I had to walk my turtle.

Silly Status Updates

04/05/2012

A burp is just a fart that took the elevator.

Silly Status Updates

04/08/2012

So I’ve narrowed it down and I’m either gonna start a motorcycle gang or take a nap.

Silly Status Updates

05/26/2011

Think of a number 1 through 10. Double it, Subtract 1, add 20, multiply it by 5, add 2, divide by 2, close your eyes, dark, isn’t it?

Silly Status Updates

03/27/2012

New rule: if I hold the door open for you and you walk by without saying "Thanks", I am granted one attempt at trying to trip you.

Silly Status Updates

04/09/2012

Without that little voice in your head, you wouldn't be able to read this.

Silly Status Updates

07/13/2012

if you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends.... if only all girls thought like the spice girls lol

Silly Status Updates

05/26/2011

Things I want most: to eat without gaining weight, good grades without having to study, and paid to sleep.

Silly Status Updates

05/13/2012

I hate it when I plan a conversation in my head and the other person doesn't follow the script.

Silly Status Updates

05/15/2012

Flies only live for 24 hours. Except for the ones that get in your room. Those ones magically live forever!

Silly Status Updates

06/10/2012

What's on my mind? None of your business!!!

Silly Status Updates

01/30/2012

I have come terms with the fact that I will always have the handwriting of a 7th grader.

Silly Status Updates

03/05/2012

I don’t care how old you are, When you see a balloon about to hit the floor, you dive too stop that sh*t.

Silly Status Updates

03/26/2012

The best kinds of laughter: 1) Laughing so hard that your laugh becomes silent. 2) Feeling a 6 pack coming. 3) Tears in your eyes.

Silly Status Updates

04/17/2012

Rawwrrr means I love you in dinosaur. Everyone knows that, silly.

Silly Status Updates

04/24/2012

That awesome moment when you flip your pillow over to the cold side.

Silly Status Updates

08/14/2012

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I'd just laugh and search with them.

Silly Status Updates

09/21/2012

The problem with the world today is that the smart people are full of doubts while the stupid ones are full of confidence.

Silly Status Updates

09/22/2012

Look, lying on my bed all day isn't being lazy. I'm just waiting. And you know what they say "Good things come to those who wait".

Silly Status Updates

02/03/2013

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