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The quietest people have the loudest minds.

Misc. Status Updates

02/21/2013

People often say laughter is the best medicine, but they neglect to mention that an overdose can cause one's ass to fall off.

Misc. Status Updates

02/19/2013

When being mature is more important than being right, you are mature.

Misc. Status Updates

02/16/2013

I'm going to act like you're typo didn't happen because I like you.

Misc. Status Updates

02/17/2013

I've just woken up, and it appears that Earth is temporarily safe from harm & currently doesn't need my assistance, so I'm going back to bed.

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02/12/2013

Today has been cancelled, due to lack of interest.

Misc. Status Updates

02/18/2013

It is hard to imagine how people showed their anger before doors were invented.

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02/03/2013

I bet Batman's cape gets stuck in the car door more times than he's willing to admit.

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02/03/2013

My car doubles in value when I fill my gas tank up.

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01/28/2013

When you keep sweeping things "under the rug" eventually you're going to trip from the mess you've made.

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01/24/2013

My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal' or just frowned upon?

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01/23/2013

My advice for pretty much anything that's broken is "did you try and jiggle it?".

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01/23/2013

When your parties have glasses instead of red cups, you're a grown up.

Misc. Status Updates

01/17/2013

Here's to the end of another strange year we'll one day be strangely nostalgic for.

Misc. Status Updates

12/30/2012

A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

Misc. Status Updates

12/30/2012

Your secrets are safe with me, because I probably wasn't listening to begin with.

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12/26/2012

I'd slap you but I'm pretty sure they would call it animal cruelty.

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12/26/2012

Mentally preparing yourself to step out of the shower during winter.

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12/20/2012

Karma has no menu. You get served what you deserve.

Misc. Status Updates

12/19/2012

Sometimes I ask myself why do I stay up so late? Then I tell myself it’s none of my damn business.

Misc. Status Updates

12/18/2012

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