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Exercise…ex…er…cise…..ex…ar…..size……eggs…are…sides….for bacon. Bacon.

Health Status Updates

05/16/2013

I FINALLY found a machine at the gym I like: the vending machine!

Health Status Updates

04/15/2013

I'm looking for a new personal trainer, the last one didn't work out.

Health Status Updates

04/10/2013

My Living Will says it's okay to pull the plug on me, but I'd like them to at least try jiggling it a few times first.

Health Status Updates

04/03/2013

Lesson #1. Only trust people who like big butts... They cannot lie. #TRUTH

Health Status Updates

03/27/2013

Two tips for faster jogging (1) hot guy in front of you; (2) creepy dude behind you.

Health Status Updates

03/24/2013

There's always that one jerk in the gym who thinks he's competing in the friggin' Olympics.

Health Status Updates

03/24/2013

I hate when people say, " I gotta get my body right for the summer"..like, wtf are going to do about your face??

Health Status Updates

03/21/2013

I do exercise. I do one sit up everyday...when I get out of bed in the morning.

Health Status Updates

03/21/2013

I'm pretty sure that it's easier to leave most street gangs than it is to cancel a membership to a gym.

Health Status Updates

03/19/2013

EXCUSES ARE FOR PEOPLE WHO DON'T WANT IT BAD ENOUGH.

Health Status Updates

03/07/2013

Your heart beats faster, your knees go weak, you start to sweat. Is this love? No you're probably hypoglycemic.

Health Status Updates

02/28/2013

I just want to be as thin as my patience.

Health Status Updates

02/26/2013

I hate people who buy gym memberships just to walk on a treadmill. WALKING IS FREE.

Health Status Updates

02/24/2013

I forgot to tell you guys I'm at the gym so if you need to get ahold of me I'll be at the gym and I'll talk to you after I leave the gym.

Health Status Updates

02/24/2013

I'd like to give a special thanks to my feet for supporting me and to my arms for being by my side at all times.

Health Status Updates

02/16/2013

Instead of calling it the John, I'm going to start calling my bathroom the "Jim". That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Health Status Updates

02/07/2013

Go to gym to work out at 6:00 am, realize you have driven past a dunkin donuts, krispy kreme, and a DQ not turning around is the perfection of self control.

Health Status Updates

01/24/2013

Just did 100 crunches. Crumbs everywhere.

Health Status Updates

11/27/2012

I exercised once, but found I was allergic to it. My skin flushed and my heart raced. I got sweaty and short of breath. Very dangerous.

Health Status Updates

11/25/2012

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