Funny Status Updates for Facebook. Hilarious Comedic Witty Status Updates about Life, Love, and everything in-between.

Funny Status Updates for Facebook - iPhone/iPod App ONLY $.99cents Funny Status Updates for Facebook App is ★★★Now Available for ANDROID★★★

Sort By:
Newest
Random
Most LIKEs:
48 hours
Week
Month
All Time

"Do you want to try a bite of mine?" "Nope. I ordered what I like."

Food Status Updates

05/22/2013

Just ate a whole bag of chips, but it was "reduced fat" so basically it was like going to the gym.

Food Status Updates

05/22/2013

The fridge is a clear example that what matters is what's inside.

Food Status Updates

05/21/2013

They should make Jack Daniels chap stick.

Food Status Updates

05/19/2013

If Starbucks delivered, I would be a morning person.

Food Status Updates

05/13/2013

I would eat a lot more salads if they were made out of pizza.

Food Status Updates

05/13/2013

You may have a hot body but I have a hot bucket of fried chicken so who's the real winner here.

Food Status Updates

05/13/2013

If you ever feel like a failure, just know that somewhere in the world, someone just lost their straw inside a Capri Sun.

Food Status Updates

05/12/2013

I've never been in love but I imagine it's similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food.

Food Status Updates

05/12/2013

Stop complaining about being single. We have bigger problems here. Like why McDonald’s doesn’t serve breakfast after 10:30.

Food Status Updates

05/09/2013

Being an adult means going to the grocery store and paying a ton of money and still having nothing to eat.

Food Status Updates

05/09/2013

PRINGLES: The only chip company in the world that doesn't sell air.

Food Status Updates

05/07/2013

Cereal is an acceptable meal at all times of the day.

Food Status Updates

05/06/2013

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

Food Status Updates

05/01/2013

Did you know you that you don't have to put every meal you eat on Instagram? You can just eat it.

Food Status Updates

04/30/2013

Fat, single and ready for a Pringle.

Food Status Updates

04/29/2013

There is a special place in hell reserved for people that break the "10 items or less" rule.

Food Status Updates

04/24/2013

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream.

Food Status Updates

04/24/2013

I don't know who invented Nutella, but I'm going to assume they went to Hogwart's.

Food Status Updates

04/23/2013

If a bag is not resealable then it contains one serving. I don't make the rules.

Food Status Updates

04/21/2013

Categories