Funny Status Updates for Facebook. Hilarious Comedic Witty Status Updates about Life, Love, and everything in-between.

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When you're in the shower, and you hear loud thumps and you think "They're killing my family, and I'll have to fight the attacker naked..."

Family Status Updates

06/04/2013

I don't care how old I am. If I lose my Mom in the supermarket I will panic.

Family Status Updates

05/22/2013

My mom likes to play this game called yell from four rooms away and get upset when I can’t hear her.

Family Status Updates

05/13/2013

Home is not where you live, but where they understand you.

Family Status Updates

05/05/2013

I believe in love at first sight because... I've loved my mum since I opened my eyes!

Family Status Updates

04/15/2013

Home is wherever Mom is.

Family Status Updates

04/10/2013

You know you're a mom, when someone says they have a stomach ache and you ask if they pooped today.

Family Status Updates

02/26/2013

Dear Mother-in-law, "Don't Teach me how 2 handle my children, I'm living with one of yours & he needs a lot of improvement.

Family Status Updates

02/14/2013

I have 4 missed calls from my mom. A rescue team is gonna break down my door and find me sitting in my underwear on my couch eating cheetos any minute now.

Family Status Updates

01/29/2013

Home is where the pants come off.

Family Status Updates

01/06/2013

Ever look around the room at your family and think to yourself "it's amazing I turned out as good as I did."

Family Status Updates

12/10/2012

Some of us live thousands of miles away from our families and don't get to be with them during the Holidays. Jealous?

Family Status Updates

11/21/2012

I'm an only child, and I'm still not the favorite.

Family Status Updates

10/16/2012

Missed calls: Dad (1) Sister (1) Brother (1) Mother (50)

Family Status Updates

08/14/2012

Knowing your family so well that you can tell who's coming down the stairs by the sound of their footsteps.

Family Status Updates

08/02/2012

Yelling someone's name in different voices until they finally hear you. LIKE if you do that.

Family Status Updates

07/29/2012

Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mommy. Mommy. Mommy. Mommy. Mama. Mama. Mama. Mama. Mama. Mother. Mother. Mother. Mother. Mom: What?!? Me: Hi

Family Status Updates

07/24/2012

You know you are in trouble when your mom screams your whole name.

Family Status Updates

07/05/2012

LIKE if your parents think your friends are a bad influence, but honestly, you are usually the one that comes up w/ the ideas.

Family Status Updates

05/30/2012

Don’t underestimate me, That’s my family's job.

Family Status Updates

05/29/2012

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