Funny Status Updates for Facebook. Hilarious Comedic Witty Status Updates about Life, Love, and everything in-between.

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There comes a point during checkout when the gift bag, tissue, ribbon & card all exceed 12 bucks, & I decide that IS your gift.

Birthday Status Updates

05/08/2013

Two things I will never grasp in life: 1. What to write in birthday cards. 2. What to do when people are singing happy birthday to me.

Birthday Status Updates

04/25/2013

The older I get, the more I enjoy being bored.

Birthday Status Updates

02/27/2013

I do not have grey hairs.... I have wisdom highlights!

Birthday Status Updates

02/19/2013

The older I get, the more I enjoy being bored.

Birthday Status Updates

02/12/2013

I can't believe that I wanted to grow up.

Birthday Status Updates

01/22/2013

I really don't want a birthday card. Just give me the $4 you would've spent on it. If it makes you feel better sign your name on each dollar.

Birthday Status Updates

01/05/2013

I use my birthday as an excuse to do whatever the hell I want. So basically it's just like every other day, except with presents.

Birthday Status Updates

10/01/2012

May you live as long as you want, And never want as long as you live.

Birthday Status Updates

07/25/2012

You make age curious, time furious, and the rest of us envious!

Birthday Status Updates

07/25/2012

I only drink twice a year. When it's my birthday and when it's not my birthday.

Birthday Status Updates

07/11/2012

To me, “being the bigger person” means wishing a happy birthday on Facebook to people who did not wish me one.

Birthday Status Updates

05/23/2012

Happy Birthday to you ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸ "Enjoy your special day and Wishing you many more to come!... •*¨*•♫♪...♫♪...♪♫.

Birthday Status Updates

04/30/2012

Two tips on your birthday: 1) Forget the past, you can't change it. 2) Forget the present, I didn't get you one.

Birthday Status Updates

02/28/2012

So many candles... so little cake.

Birthday Status Updates

02/28/2012

You always have such fun birthdays; you should have one every year.

Birthday Status Updates

02/28/2012

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

Birthday Status Updates

02/28/2012

We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it.

Birthday Status Updates

02/28/2012

Facebook has been saving me money on birthday cards for the almost 5 years.

Birthday Status Updates

11/21/2011

LIKE IF you get anxiety because you've run out of clever ways to wish people happy birthday on Facebook.

Birthday Status Updates

09/04/2011

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