Funny Status Updates for Facebook. Hilarious Comedic Witty Status Updates about Life, Love, and everything in-between.

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Guy opens beer with CHAINSAW

05/17/2012

Nomophobia, the fear of being without a cell phone, is the most common phobia. LIKE if you suffer from it.

Phone Status Updates

05/17/2012

That awkward moment when someone skinnier than you says "I'm so fat."

Awkward Moment When

05/17/2012

Relationships last long NOT because they are destined to last long; but because two brave people made a choice to keep fighting for it.

Relationship Status Updates

05/17/2012

Name your iPhone 'Titanic', plug it into the computer, "Titanic is syncing", press cancel, feel like a hero.

Phone Status Updates

05/17/2012

Q: Why is Facebook going public? A: They couldn't figure out the privacy settings either.

Facebook Status Updates

05/17/2012

That awkward moment when someone is staring at you and laughing at the same time.

Awkward Moment When

05/16/2012

It's always depressing when you check Facebook and you scroll down far enough to where you left off...

Facebook Status Updates

05/16/2012

What a woman needs is a guy who will protect her like she's his daughter, love her like she's his wife, and respect her like she's his mother.

Viral Status Updates

05/15/2012

Know Yourself. Understand Yourself. Correct Yourself.

Health Status Updates

05/15/2012

We all used Facebook out of curiosity and it ended as an addiction.

Facebook Status Updates

05/15/2012

LIKE if you disagree with someone just to annoy them.

Life Status Updates

05/15/2012

I hate it when I plan a conversation in my head and the other person doesn't follow the script.

Silly Status Updates

05/15/2012

Kid dances to Somebody that I used to know

05/15/2012

On my tombstone I want it to say: 'I didn't forward the text message to 15 friends."

Phone Status Updates

05/14/2012

BESTFRIEND: the one you can get mad at only for a short period because you have important stuff to tell them

Kid Status Updates

05/14/2012

Time travel does exist. It's called music.

Music & Lyrics Status Updates

05/14/2012

That amazing moment when you find the EXACT answers to your homework on Google.

School Status Updates

05/14/2012

Dear Algebra, stop asking us to find your X. She's not coming back.

School Status Updates

05/13/2012

I just need to find someone who enjoys my awkwardness, loves me even when I'm mean, and laughs at my jokes even when they're not funny.

Relationship Status Updates

05/13/2012

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