Score more likes, share these…
20 Great Status Updates:
- “Are you as bored as I am?” Read that backwards, and it still makes sense.
- I’m convinced that leaning forward while playing video games substantially improves my overall performance.
- During the stone age, long before Facebook, man was already experiencing the irrepressible need to express on a wall what he had eaten.
- You know how we smack your household appliances when they’re malfunctioning and it makes them work? I wish you could do that with people.
- 10 times out of 9, people are exaggerating the story.
- Why doesn’t dough rhyme with rough or tough?
- Before you go anywhere with me, you should know that I’m still waiting for my chance to shout “UNHAND me you fools!!” as security escorts me off the premises.
- I’d rather not eat than go to the store for one ingredient that I’m missing.
- When you keep sweeping things “under the rug” eventually you’re going to trip from the mess you’ve made.
- Ladies: imagine a man who’s rich, handsome, listens well and loves you for who you are. Now keep imagining him, because he’s only imaginary.
- I’m drinking while I work out…I call it Bacardio.
- If you peel back the foil on pudding and don’t lick the pudding on the foil before indulging in the pudding then I’m sorry to say you’re not cool.
- Hey person calling me from a blocked number, I’m not answering. Ever.
- I’m so happy that I chose quality over quantity when selecting my Facebook friends.
- Go to gym to work out at 6:00 am, realize you have driven past a dunkin donuts, krispy kreme, and a DQ not turning around is the perfection of self control.
- When you hit the wrong key by accident, that is a typo. When you can’t spell the word, that is NOT a typo.
- Sending an important text, then being scared to open the reply.
- When is it going to become legal to punch people in the face who cough with their mouth open?
- The person with the longest text message response time has the upper hand in the relationship.
- Face your problems. Don’t facebook your problems.
Pancakes within a $5 Bill:
Pancake Conspiracy? I think so! Share this top secret pancake on your newsfeed for instant likes, comments, and karma.
Icy Bridge is Ridiculously Icy…
Wow, that looks like so much fun… dangerous… but, sooooo fun. Ask your Facebook friends how they’d cross this crazy Icy bridge in Utah.