The best statuses this week…
Top Facebook Status Updates:
- My life has become a never ending game of ‘illegal or just frowned upon?
- The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
- My advice for pretty much anything that’s broken is “did you try and jiggle it?”.
- I removed my windshield wipers and now I don’t get parking tickets. Suck it meter maids!
- I have a lot on my plate right now. Not busy, just hungry.
- Hey everyone, it’s raining! Time to start driving like you’re navigating through Outer Space!
- Idea to help fight the obesity epidemic in America: Force Walmart to keep their parking spaces at least 200 yards from their entrances.
- Some people just lack the ability to realize that everyone in the room wants them to shut up.
- Sorry homeless guy, didn’t mean to get your hopes up…I shouldn’t have started looking for my keys when I saw you.
- Is it just me or are there far fewer good climbing trees around these days?
- We all need to make a pact right now that there will be riots if Hollywood tries to remake The Goonies.
- Some girls put more effort into naming their Facebook photo albums than I put into my life.
- Some of the best decisions I’ve ever made involved me clicking cancel instead of send.
- Facebook is like a relationship, once you think you have it all figured out, everything changes.
- The awkward moment when you’re not sure if something is your actual memory or if your brain made it up.
- Try saying ‘Mmmmm’ for ten seconds whilst holding your nose, LIKE if you failed.
- If a man has more than 3 tattoos, he’s not allowed to tell you he has commitment issues.
- When buying a flat screen tv, always remember to put the box in your neighbor’s trash so you don’t get robbed.
- I bought condoms & the cashier said do you need a bag? I replied “No she isn’t that ugly”.
- “All you do is sit on that computer” Lies. I sit on the chair.
Snowball fights are what winter was invented for :) Sadly, this little guy lost! But, it certainly makes for some good comedy… a little snow to the face never hurt nobody. Plus, he nearly caught that sneaky snowball.
Cats Try To Figure Out Treadmill:
That.Was.Awesome. They are so curious and yet so confused. 2 minutes of generally confused kitties makes for pure comedic gold. Share this epic viral cat video with your Facebook friends for instant LIKE-love.