Facebook in a Nutshell, Angry Baby Possum, and Bright Status Updates

Editorial Team

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Enjoy your Thursday pick one and share it….

Bright Facebook Status Updates:

Political views are like children. Some people don’t have one or want one. Others keep trying to show theirs off.
Life Pro Tip: Putting your phone in airplane mode will stop ads while you play.
I’m glad they finally made waterproof phones. Pushing friends into the pool is funny.
If the T-Rex had arms that were long enough to hug, they probably wouldn’t have been so mean.
I wish the “Do not ask me again” option existed in real life.
Should have never gave my cat a lemon, now he’s walking around like a sour puss.
“Hold me.” -Grudges
I feel confident that Laim Neeson would be there for me if I listed him as my emergency contact.
Don’t forget: it’s very important what strangers on the Internet think about you.
Some girls are so desperate. Who calls 3 times, leaves a voicemail, and sends a text?? Take a hint, mom.
It’s sad when a girl breaks up and changes back to her “I need attention” Facebook picture.
Fate is when you find something you were never looking for and realize it’s everything you never knew you wanted.
Considering renting out my services to people who need awkward situations made awkwarder.
It’s amazing how many people are allergic to gluten, peanuts, and facts.
Humor is of two types – below the belt and above the forehead.
Your voicemail will be ignored in the order in which it was received. Beep.
I have tonight off so if anyone’s free let’s go somewhere and look at our phones together.
Before you decide to spend less time on social media, make sure you go to every social media website and tell everyone.
I just told my brother he was adopted, his response was, “At least they picked me”
All I’m saying is, you’ve never seen me crying and eating tacos at the same time.