Epic Archery, Expensive Things, and 20 Fun Facebook Statuses

Editorial Team

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Happy Monday, share these funny statuses we found this week..

Top 20 Fun Facebook Statuses:

Might wake up early and go running but I also might win the lottery, the odds are about the same.
You never look good trying to make someone else look bad.
My plan is to change the world. But I’ll settle for just getting out of bed.
Hmmmm what should I buy myself for Valentines day.
Everything becomes exponentially more funny when you’re not allowed to laugh.
I need to delete pictures off my phone, but I’m such a photo hoarder, like I never know when this pic could come in handy I can’t delete that.
Is it a firm rule that you have to be an addict to check into rehab? Because that one in Malibu looks pretty nice.
ppl: u should talk more!
me: *tries to talk*
– gets ignored
– gets interrupted
– gets talked over
– no one pays attention
– no one cares
The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I asked for pizza.
That awkward moment when you walk to the wrong car in the parking lot.
“COME ON YOU PIECE OF CRAP” I yell at my computer, a magic box that can do anything.
If you end your message with “catch you later” the next time I see you I’m totally jumping in your arms. You better f*cking catch me.
I like to stand 20 ft in front of the Walmart greeter and greet people before he gets a chance.
I don’t really WANT to make bad choices; but I got here late and all the good choices were already taken.
My friends most commonly describe me as “who?”
I’ve ended up encountering much less porridge than I had expected I would as a child.
I have no problem giving credit when credit is due. It’s giving payment when payment is due that I seem to struggle with.
You are like that one crazy wheel on a grocery cart.
The best cure for insomnia is a sunrise.
What would I give the woman who has everything? Well, my phone number for a start.