These made me laugh, hope they do for you too..
20 Great Facebook Posts:
- That awkward moment when you plan a conversation in your head before asking someone for something.
- Making a woman laugh is one of the keys to winning her heart, unless she’s laughing at your junk.
- If you love something, feed it so much that it get’s too fat for anyone else to want.
- Movie idea: Freaky Friday2015: Your LinkedIn profile and your Tinder profile accidentally switch places.
- Your shadow: What happens when light travels 93 million miles unobstructed, only to be deprived of reaching the ground in the final few feet by you.
- It’s high time we change the name of the Indian Ocean to Native American Ocean.
- “You the bomb” “No you the bomb” Kind gesture in America. Argument in the Middle East.
- My mind was blown when I realized “OK” is a sideways person.
- While most people are getting more invested in relationships, I’m getting more invested in shows on Netflix.
- Half of me is a hopeless romantic. And the other half of me is, well, an asshole.
- Sorry I got mad and said a bunch of things I meant but shouldn’t have said out loud.
- My wife and I are dieting now… and by dieting, I mean we’re not telling each other about the junk food we eat.
- Mirrors don’t lie. And, lucky for me, they don’t laugh either.
- The truth might set you free, but lying might keep you out of jail.
- “Know what would look good on you? Nothing.” Is both an insult and a compliment.
- The phrase “Do go on” contains 3 different pronunciations of the letter ‘o’
- There should be a movie rating based on how awkward it would be to watch with your parents.
- If Netflix had a “I don’t want to watch this movie. Ever” option, its recommendations would be much better.
- Thank God everyone agrees on the color of traffic lights.
- If I were to quit my job today and become a psychic, I would advertise with a sign that reads, “Voted best psychic of 2016!”
Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates…
Cat Brushes Teeth..
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wb7eNeH1Les[/youtube]
Needless to say his mind was blown. That was hilarious! Like/Share if you’d like 😉
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