Step your Facebook game up with these LIKEable status posts…
- When girls have a great night out, they talk about it for months. When guys have a great night out, that night will never be spoken of.
- Not only is she out of your league, you two aren’t even playing the same sport.
- Are you reading this from a toilet? I’m writing this from one.
- If I’ve offended you, please accept my apology. Then smack yourself in the face for getting offended by something on the Internet.
- 2013: U mad bro? 1800: Art thou angered brethren?
- Whenever I show someone a picture on my phone, I assume ninja stance in case they start scrolling.
- Here is your New Years Resolution. All of that stupid crap you did last year? Don’t do that crap this year. Done. You’re welcome.
- When my life flashes before my eyes, I hope it’s not the special extended edition with all the deleted scenes I’ve blocked from my memory.
- “Fart” is such a crude word. I prefer “Song of the South.”
- Word to the wise… Don’t base your decisions on the advice of people who don’t have to deal with the results.
- How come when I stay in bed all day it’s “depression,” but when animals do it it’s “hibernating”?
- If you and your best friend don’t have at least one night in your past that you vow to never discuss, you’re not best friends.
- When someone finally invents a time machine, if it’s not in the form of a DeLorean I’m pretty sure everyone is going to be disappointed.
- I just saw a disclaimer that said “don’t try this at home”, so I tried it at my neighbors house.
- There are 2 kinds of people I can’t stand: Nosy people, and people who won’t tell me what in the hell is going on.
You’ll certainly steal the spotlight by sharing one of those epic statuses :) Best of luck and remember, if you delete it before anyone likes it, nobody saw it! The key is picking one that fits you and your personality.