Fik-Shun Dance, Spider Sighting, and Awesome Status Ideas

May 17, 2013 Leave a Comment

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Awesome Facebook Status Posts:

  1. That awkward moment when you check the time on your phone, don’t remember what it said.
  2. I’m a responsible person. People are always saying “I know you’re responsible for this.”
  3. Tell someone, “You wore that shirt the day after yesterday” and see how long it takes them to get it.
  4. I’m really good at keeping secrets because five minutes later I forget what you told me because I don’t care.
  5. Why do bras and batteries come in the same sizes?
  6. Are you a beaver? Cause dam.
  7. I decided to face reality today and I definitely won’t be doing that again anytime soon.
  8. I’m sorry I offended you when I called you a bitch, I honestly thought you knew.
  9. I’m having one of those days where when I get home I’m going to lean against the door, and slide down it while dramatically sighing.
  10. Exercise…ex…er…cise…..ex…ar…..size……eggs…are…sides….for bacon. Bacon.
  11. Real friends don’t get offended when you insult them. They laugh and call you something even more offensive.
  12. My room isn’t dirty, I just have everything on display.
  13. I’m sorry I keep looking at your chest while you’re talking. It’s just so beautiful. What is it, oak?
  14. I look at my phone every time I hear the text or ringtone sounds in commercials.
  15. I don’t know who decided that high heels were just for women but…GOOD CALL.
  16. “I’m a ninja!” “Dude no you’re not!” “Did you see me do that?” “Do what?” “Exactly.”
  17. Tombstone request: Born a virgin, lived a virgin, died a virgin. The engraver shortened it to: ” Returned unopened.”
  18. I hate it when I plan a conversation in my head and the other person doesn’t follow the script.
  19. We all know a douche bag named Kyle.
  20. I bet Waldo’s parents are worried sick.

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Free Timeline Covers

When I see a Spider…

When I see a Spider

Share if you feel the same way!

This Kid CAN DANCE! His name is Fik-Shun and he’s awesome:

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Welcome, to the interwebs, Fik-Shun!

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Filed Under: Facebook Status Updates Tagged With: , ,

Intensely Awkward Gamer, Confused KitteH, and Cool Statuses

May 16, 2013 Leave a Comment

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Cool Facebook Statuses:

  1. Dear Netflix, quit asking. I always want to continue to the next episode.
  2. The more I trust the more I learn to verify.
  3. Stu(dying)
    Stu(died)
    Coincidence? I think not.
  4. I want to meet myself from someone else’s point of view.
  5. I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, “well that’s not going to happen.”
  6. I think someone has to be listening to you before it can be considered an actual conversation.
  7. Why is there a show called “When animals attack”? It should be called “When stupid people go near dangerous animals.”
  8. I am not afraid of heights, deep water, and love. I am afraid of falling, drowning, and a broken heart.
  9. Guess I must’ve got drunk and married Google at some point. I can barely get a word out now before it tries to finish my sentence.
  10. I have decided to leave my past behind me.. so If I owe you money..I’m sorry. but I’ve moved on.
  11. “American Pie” ruined it for any kid that actually DOES have an amazing story from band camp.
  12. Telling me to calm down is the only guaranteed way to piss me off.
  13. Girl’s eyebrows nowadays look like Nike signs.
  14. True friends don’t judge each other. They judge other people.. together.
  15. If you shut off the Internet in the US, we’d overthrow the government within hours.
  16. Best Threesome: Me. My Bed. My Pillow.
  17. Diet
    Die
    Di
    D
    Do
    Don
    Donu
    Donuts
  18. I’m the type of person who would spend 20 years becoming a judge, just so ONE person could be all, “You can’t judge me!” And I’m like, “Bullshit.”
  19. The less people you chill with, the less bullshit you deal with.
  20. It’s funny how the people you meet in the weirdest ways are usually the most amazing.

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Free Timeline Covers

Confused KitteHhhh:

Confused Kitty

Whattttt????

Intensely Awkward Gamer gives EPIC Interview:

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Was he acting or is he really that awkward? Either way, that is one awesome interview!

Lots of statuses, funny pics, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App.

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Afraid of Love, Mastiff Puppy, and Really Funny Status Updates

May 15, 2013 Leave a Comment

Score more likes, use these…

Really Funny Facebook Status Updates:

  1. That awkward moment when you leave the shop without buying anything and all you can think is, ‘act natural, you’re innocent’.
  2. People better watch their p’s & q’s before I start handing out f’s and u’s!
  3. The best things in life aren’t things.
  4. Really hate when people say “huh” even though they clearly heard what you said.
  5. I don’t care what your gender is. I’m going to call you “dude” either way.
  6. I don’t care how old I am…
    I will still see Monsters University and Finding Dory.
  7. Things I didn’t learn in high school…
    how to pay bills
    buy a house
    apply for college
    but thank goodness I can graph a polynomial function.
  8. I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.
  9. Local news is like Facebook. You get stories you don’t care about, some jerk talks about weather and it all ends with pictures of animals doing funny stuff.
  10. I’m really good at keeping secrets because five minutes later I forget what you told me because I don’t care.
  11. Don’t dwell on your past, disappointments, or failures, you can’t trip on something behind you.
  12. Me opening the fridge: “Baby you light up my world like nobody else.”
  13. I hope history repeats itself, I really want a dinosaur.
  14. If I call you and you don’t answer, I will sing on your voicemail.
  15. What comes after 3D, scratch and sniff?
  16. The people in 1913 probably thought in 2013 we would have flying cars and robots …but no. so far we’ve come up with backwards robes and rubber bands shaped like animals.
  17. Showers are amazing. They make you feel nice and clean, make you sound like a professional singer, and help you make all of life’s decisions
  18. Dear LOL, Thanks for being there for me when times get awkward. Sincerely, I have nothing else to say
  19. Just finished building Rome with Legos. Took me a day.
  20. Nobody’s phone is ever off. They’re lying.

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Free Timeline Covers

Mastiff Puppy:

mastiff puppy

Why is everybody Afraid of Love?

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Hilarious! Share it with all your friends who are afraid of love!

Tons more status updates, funny pictures, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App.

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Talking Parakeet, Crazy Sloth, and Great Status Posts

May 14, 2013 Leave a Comment

The best around FB, share these…

Great Facebook Status Update Posts:

  1. If Starbucks delivered, I would be a morning person.
  2. I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says “haha good one” and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.
  3. I wish some people could actually see their personality when they look in a mirror.
  4. You may have a hot body but I have a hot bucket of fried chicken so who’s the real winner here.
  5. Normal people: I like everyone unless you give me a reason not to.
    Me: I hate everyone unless you give me a reason not to.
  6. I would eat a lot more salads if they were made out of pizza.
  7. I hate being tickled, I do not think it is cute, I do not find it funny, I will kick you in the face.
  8. If Eve sacraficed the whole human race for Apple, I wonder what she would have done for a Klondike Bar?
  9. That awkward moment when you don’t know how to smile when someone is taking a picture.
  10. If it hurts when you pee, urine trouble.
  11. Word of Advice: In life, you have 3 choices: you can watch things happen, make things happen, or wonder what the hell happened.
  12. An awkward morning beats a boring night.
  13. If they treats you like an option, leave them like a choice.
  14. A good way to tell how crazy a girl is, is by counting the number of selfie profile photos she has.
  15. Things I’m bad at: singing
    Things I do a lot: sing
  16. That awkward moment when you walk pass someone wearing exactly the same shirt as you are.
  17. You never really know someone until you talk to them at 4 am.
  18. My mom likes to play this game called yell from four rooms away and get upset when I can’t hear her.
  19. I really hate saying sorry. But when I do, I honestly do mean it.
  20. I like how on my birthday I get presents & money, I get paid for being born, I get paid, for living it’s like being Kim Kardashian for a day.

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Free Timeline Covers

Crazy Little Sloth:

Crazy Little Sloth

DAT Glance! Piercing :) It’s like he can see your soul.

This Parakeet has a mind of his own…

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Disco FTW! That little guy is awesome :) It’s great how he pieces together his own phrases!

Tons more status updates, funny pictures, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Check back on Monday for more funny status updates!

Filed Under: Facebook Status Updates Tagged With: , , , ,
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