What is up my friends?  Are  you part of the new Facebook Fan Page yet?   If not you are likely missing out.  Join the 1300+ other people enjoying our mediocre daily updates :)  Otherwise here are your funny status updates for Facebook:

• When in roam, watch out for those hidden charges.
• It’s no accident that stressed spelled backwards is desserts.
• I wonder if you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
• My Reality Check bounced.
• I’d explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
• A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

If you jogged backward … would you gain weight?

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American Idol, Cat Style

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How awesome is that?

Alright folks, thanks for stopping by, check back tomorrow for daily updates and join our Facebook Fan Page for even more funny stuff.

What is up friends!  Good news is you’re half way through the week.  Bad news is, you got half the week left.  Even better news we’re going to get you through it with these hilariously funny status updates and one liners. Bing bang boom…

Hilarious Status Updates and One Liners for Facebook:

• I saw a sign that said “DRINK CANADA DRY” so I moved to Toronto. (From our updated DAILY Facebook Fan Page)
• It takes a village to raise an idiot.
• Do you ever notice that when you’re driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?
• Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”
• I thought about exercising all day long. I am so exhausted.

What do you get when you cross ESP with PMS? A woman who knows everything.

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That is guaranteed laughs right there folks, it doesn’t get better than that.  Game, Set, Match.

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Pretty wild huh?   Alrighty that is it for today stop by tomorrow for more awesome free status update ideas, pictures, videos all that jazz.  Cya then :)

Aloha amigos, welcome back.  Today we have some delightfully excellent and intriguing status updates for your viewing pleasures.  Without further speculation here you are…

Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

• My hamster died today. He fell asleep at the wheel.
• Law of the Jungle: He who hesitates is lunch.
• Anticipation is a dish best served later.
• Cop: “You going to a fire?” Motorist: “Trying to prevent one, officer. My boss said that’s what would happen if I was late again.”
• I’m so broke even my computer is low on cache.
• I was thinking of becoming a doctor. I have the handwriting for it.
• There are two kinds of secrets : one is not worth keeping and the other is too good to keep.

There’s one thing good about being poor – its inexpensive.

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Jeez, tell them how you really feel :)

Funny site to go to. “4 Lost Cat Flyers you won’t soon forget“

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Alright folks, well that is it for today.  Check back tomorrow for the mid week status updates and more awesome content.  Thanks and cya soon ;)

PS) Join our Facebook Fan Page for daily updated content that is certified awesome.

This comic is just one of the many hilarious comics from our funny new eBook that is only $5bux.

Buy it or don’t buy it, we don’t care.  But, if you do buy it you will probably be beloved on Facebook, that’s all we’re sayin’.

Welcome Back!   Today we are celebrating over 1,000 Facebook Fans on our new page :) !!!  If you aren’t a fan, become one today for awesome daily content.  We are also celebrating the release of our hilarious new book: Funny Status Updates and Guide for Facebook.  It contains over 1,000 categorized FB Status Updates and much much more.  It’s only 5bux less than the cost of a few songs.  It’s totally worth it and you’re supporting this website, and trust us we aren’t getting rich off of it!

Ridiculous Status Updates for Facebook:

• My coworkers are exceptionally dedicated. You should see how far they’ll go to annoy me.
• Sorry, Officer…I thought you wanted to race with me..
• W.W.B.W.D? = What would Betty White do?  (From Marie on our Facebook Fan Page)
• Did I ever tell you about my roofer who came down with shingles?
• he oil spill has hit 4 million gallons. or two escalade fill ups
• discovered the secret of the universe, but forgot it after he woke up. (From David on our Facebook Fan Page)

Where does a hamburger go to dance? A meat ball.

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Now, that is just ridiculous.  So is our ridiculous $5 eBook.