Congratulations and Happy Friday!  You made it folks, another glorious weekend.  A HOLIDAY weekend (Memorial day for you non-US folk, and don’t bother trying to call or e-mail us because we will be BBQing, yes, all of us.) nonetheless.  Have a safe and awesome weekened.  Here is what you came here for…

Funny Status Updates for Facebook:d

• u make miso happy! ♥
• These are my Hammer pants; you can’t touch them.
• Got pulled over today and cop said “papers”.. So I said scissors.. I WIN!!
• I’ve never tipped a cow. Then again, one has never served me food.
• WHEW! I just had a near-work experience.
• Women say they love a man in uniform but when I go clubbing in my McDonalds outfit none of them will even talk to me. (From our Facebook Fan Page)
• Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.
• Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
• The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

Thanks for stopping in! FYI,  FacebookStatus.org is the most frequently updated hotspot for hilarious status updates, pictures, and videos for your Facebook account.  And here they are…

Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

• Collecting my thoughts… I almost have a whole set!  (from our Facebook Fan Page)
• Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
• We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
• I have the same body I’ve always had. Adjusted for inflation, of course… (from our Facebook Fan Page)
• I like to hit snooze a couple of times before I wake up, but my wife likes to hit me a couple of times until I wake up.
• Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Joke of the day:

Joe: “Nice watch.” Moe: “I won it in a race.” Joe: “How many runners?” Moe: “Three, a policeman, the owner of the watch, and me.”

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Thank you so much for stopping in.  We promise you the best status updates, pictures, videos and more to post on Facebook.  Bookmark the page, you won’t regret it!  Here they are…

Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

• A cop pulls a guy over for weaving in traffic. He walks up to the driver’s window and asks, “You drinkin?” The driver says, “You buyin?”

• Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone.. and if I do, I’ll tell them not to tell anyone.
• You can’t take it with you. So why not give it to me?
• thinks it’s now only a matter of time before “24″ hits the big screen. Of course, if it’s a two-hour movie, wouldn’t it just be called ’2′? (From David on our Facebook Fan Page)
• My bank is the worst. They’re charging me money for not having enough money in my account. Apparently, I can’t even afford to be broke.
• Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
• Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
• If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.

A spoonful of honey will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar.

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Something about a gorilla drumming that just brings joy to my heart.  Join up our Facebook Fan page for more free daily updated content.   Rock on’ and cya tomorrow!

Monday Funny Status Updates for Facebook

Sup peeps?!?  Have a good weekend?  Good, great, grand!  Glad to hear it.  Here is what you came here for…

Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

• You call it poor parenting, I call it raising free range children.
• My bank is the worst. They’re charging me money for not having enough money in my account. Apparently, I can’t even afford to be broke.
• Can you call the Geek Squad if you just want to give someone a wedgie?
• With great power comes a great electric bill.
• The new version of Pac-Man is so awesome, it comes with a search engine built into it.
• I never pick up the house phone….But run a mile for the Cell Phone.
• Light travels faster than sound, thats why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. (From Neelam on our FB Fan Page)

Don’t worry about people from your past, There’s a reason why they didn’t make it to your future.

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That kid has mad skills, talent up the yin yang for sure!   Anyhow, have a good Monday folks, cya tomorrow for more awesome funny status updates, pictures, videos, etc.  Need more now?  Join our Funny FB Fan Page for daily content or buy our book.  COME BACK TOMORROW!!!

Welcome back friends!   Thank you for trusting us as your continued source for constant updates of hilarious status updates, pictures, videos and more for you to post to your Facebook page.  Congratulations on making it through the week.  Here is what you came here for…

Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

• Life rarely hands me anything. Am I in the wrong line?
• The best things in life are free…. or have no interest or payments for one full year.
• Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money, they don’t generate much interest. (From our FB Fan Page)
• The dog is following me around like I’m made of meat. Wait a minute…
• I took my dog for a walk and played Frisbee with him, but he was useless. I really need to get a flatter dog.

I’m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain. No pain.

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Awesome!  Alright folks, Please have a safe & great weekend.  Join our Facebook Fan Page for daily content that is updated frequently.  Cya next week, thanks.