Congratulations, you survived another week of work/school/stay-at-home-mommin-it-up/welfare/unemploydom.  We don’t judge what you do, we just provide funny status updates for Facebook.  Here ya go:

Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

• BREAKING: Large Air Spill at Wind Farm. No threats reported. Some claim to enjoy the breeze.
• Girls always focus on improving their looks, not their minds. I guess cause we all know boys are stupid not blind.
• The fact that I can buy a song while on the toilet using my phone means no one is really working on cancer, are they?
• I’m typo positive.
• Apparently there are stupid questions. They’re the ones I ask my wife.
• Entertained my neighbor’s kids today by playing Duct, Duct, Tape.

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn’t open, and you friends
are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.

Funny Picture to Post:

Adorably surprised.

Bonus Funny Picture:

Funny Video to Post:

That’s it for this weekend folks.  Didn’t get enough?  Join us on our Facebook Fan Page for fresh daily updates!  Come back real soon because we’ve got some big things coming real soon.

Welcome back!  We are glad to have you back.  Just an FYI we have some awesome things coming to this website soon so please stay tuned!  Meanwhile here are some relevant and funny status updates for your Facebook:

Awesome Status Updates for Facebook:

• Interesting Factoid:  Cannibalism is common in the Octopus world.
• I’m ever sleeping and a bunch of Zs start coming out of my head, please call a doctor.
• I am now home from what would have been a hard day had I done any work
• Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
• Don’t u just hate it when someone calls your phone and says “whos this”? helloooo you are calling me!

Remember when people used to get seriously upset and mad when you would take them out of your “top eight”?

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Funny Picture to Post:

Weird Video To Post:

Come back tomorrow for the weekend wrap-up!  And join the 400+ people enjoying hilarious witty funny facebook status updates.

Looking for awesome status updates for Facebook?  Then you came to the right place pal.  You can count on us for reliable consistent updates for all your funny Facebook related material.   Want more?  Join our Facebook Fan Page Warning: content updated frequently.

Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

• Interesting Factoid: Tall people earn $789 per year per inch more than shorter people.
• Carry yourself like a queen and you’ll attract a king. Carry yourself like a hoe and see how far you’ll go.
• If you get mad at someone and push them down the stairs make sure it’s the DOWN escalator…or you’ll be there all day.
• My dog just finished walking me.
• Hard work is rewarding. Taking credit for other people’s hard work is also rewarding. And faster.
• Why is it difficult to open a piano? Because all the keys are inside!

If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.

Hilarious Picture to post to Facebook:

Funny video to post to Facebook:

That is just too cute!  Alright well hope you enjoyed today’s updates.  Please comment, share this post, and tell your friends.  We got plenty more good stuff coming soon.  Cya tomorrow, thanks for stopping in!

You guys down with Pawn Stars?  The Old Man & Chum Lee are my favorite.  Anyhow you didn’t come here to talk History TV shows you came here for the funny status updates for Facebook.  Well far be it for me to let you down…

• If I just fly to Arizona without ID and let them deport me to Mexico, would it be cheaper than if I flew directly there?
• Remember: Don’t Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river.
• What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? ‘Hold my purse.’
• If practice makes perfect, and nobody’s perfect, why practice?
• I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

“I’d rather kiss a wookie.” – Princess Leia

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Funny Facebook Picture of the Day:

Embed Url: http://www.psidea.org/images/BangHeadHere.gif

Sorry it was either that one or this one…

Embed URL: http://media.ebaumsworld.com/2006/07/fingerouch.jpg

Video of the Day:

Embed URL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TU76nhgpQCk

That’s it for today folks, leave some comments, join our fan page and rock on!  Cya tomorrow. Thanks for stopping by.

Are you looking for some witty status updates?   Then you came to the right place my friend!  Welcome, settle in and check out what we got for you…

Hilariously Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

• I ♥ you. Do you ♥ me?
• You worry too much about your job. Stop it. You are not paid enough to worry.
• Nostalgia ain’t what it used to be.
• Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you’ll flunk, but you might have flunked anyway; that’s my point.
• if you are a happy employee does that make you ‘gruntled’ ?

A grizzly with no teeth is a gummy bear.

Website You Gotta SEE: Pencil Drawings Combined with Photographs

Funny Facebook Picture of the Day:

Embed URL : http://www.learn-all-about-cats.com/images/funny-cat-that-farted.jpg

Funny Video to Post to Facebook:

Embed URL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBaZ7z-x7NQ

Alrighty friends.  Thanks for stopping in and hope to see you tomorrow.  Until then if you want more content LIKE our Facebook Fan Page.