Sup peeps.  Or should I say TWEEPS?  I just wanted to let ya’ll know that I loveeeee you.  Thanks for your support of the number one funny facebook status website on the interwebs.  Here’s your junk:

• Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
• I don’t know why Wall St. uses bulls and bears.  Both sound pretty scary to me.
• I’m a charter member of the “he man woman haters club”.
• Today is going to be the day that they’re going to throw me back to you…

• I bet a fun thing would be to go way back in time to where there was going to be an eclipse and tell the cave men, “If I have come to destroy you, may the sun be blotted out from the sky.” Just then the eclipse would start, and they’d probably try to kill you or something, but then you could explain about the rotation of the moon and all, and everyone would get a good laugh.

Quote of the Day:

Be sincere; be brief; be seated.

Franklin D. Roosevelt (1882 – 1945)

Video of the Day:

Embed Link : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYP3jhqUC3I

Alright folks, that is it for this Wednesday.  We will see you tomorrow for you to steal all of our content and pass it along as your own.  :)

Tuesday is my favorite day of the week… ya know why???  Because Tues comes from the latin word for Sleep-In.  Therefore today is Sleep-In day.  Not really.. but you could imagine what it would be like if it was! HA!  Sorry about that… anyways here are your dirty funny facebook status updates:

• If you ever accidentally drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let ‘em go, because man, they’re gone.
• Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.
• I think I invented a time machine.   Just need a flux capacitor, anyone know where I can get one of those???
• Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue horned moon?
• Ahh Bologna.

Funny Video of the day:

Embed Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlQb5ks7fsU

Well kiddies.  That is it for today. But, stay tuned because FacebookStatus.org is your source for the funniest facebook statuses there ever WAS.

Welcome to a new week.  In order to help you and your friends through this week here are your daily funny facebook status updates:

• Sorry, I don’t talk to morons before noon.
• I think I deserve a raise and a new corner office.
• The Blackberry is just a crappy wanna-be iPhone.
• When I get bored I like to think of what would happen if two random movie characters met…. For example: Hello Harry Potter, I’m Frodo Baggins!  Then they would try to one up each others adventures.
• Saturday Night Live should have been canceled in 1999.

Funny video of the day:

Embed Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0-Sv6YnxEc

Good stuff, cya tomorrow bitches.

Sup my peeps. Ya’ll know what time it is.  Time for you to get your dirty yet clever status updates.

Funny Status Updates:

• Define Irony: A bunch of idiots dancing on a plane to a song made famous by a band that died in a plane crash.
• We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
• The Holidays are coming up, and I want a Livespeakr,  for my iPhone.
• Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
• Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

Quote of the Day:

“I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.” — Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943

Video of the day:

Embed code: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqRDct1IDI8

Website of the day: Fuck you Penguin

Humpy day is nearly finished.  It’s again almost the weekend!  How awesome.  Unless you are one of those the glass is half empty sort of people.  Then well, you still have 2 days of work or school.  Here are your daily clever facebook status updates:

• This day in 1875, Billy the Kid was arrested for the first time.  (Fact of the day)
• Funky butt lovin’
• wondering what is up with Obamacare?  For or Against? Facebook America, You decide!
• Fantasy football is about as close as most men will ever get to being a professional athlete.
• I just called 911 because you are on FIRE!

Question of the day for your FB Status:

• What character from “That 70′s Show” would most likely say the phrase, “Dumbass”?     A: Red Foreman.

Video Update of the Day:

David Letterman takes a sneak peak at the new iPhone Nano.

Embed Link : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZ1bGYMudv0