Make someones week, share one of these..
20 Hilarious Facebook Status Posts:
- Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: Probably still mirrors.
- If you don’t want people asking for rides again, say yes the first time but don’t show up.
- I have a conflict of no interest.
- My life is currently buffering.
- Put on my workout clothes before going to the donut store just to give the impression I earned this.
- Starting to think the “walls” you have around you were built by the terrified villagers to keep you in.
- Why “Trojan” condoms? Didn’t the Trojan horse burst open & thousands of little guys poured out? Less than stellar marketing.
- I was gonna go out today but then I sat down. Gravity’s a bitch.
- The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
- Don’t waste good booze on bad memories.
- Washing my entire car with a squeegee at the gas pump.
- Those annoying “live chat” customer service pop-ups go away if you ask them what they’re wearing.
- I don’t think this guy who just told a woman to calm down understands how women work.
- Remember real friends don’t make you feel bad about yourself.
- Waking up everyday seems a little excessive.
- I’d wish you the best
but I am the best
- Will you date me?
- Teenagers have time + energy, but no money.
Middle age people have money + energy, but no time.
Old people have time + money, but no energy.
- At parties, I socialize with dogs before people.
- You miss 100% of the naps you don’t take.
Haha, I think we’ve all felt this way at one point in time.
How to hold a baby..
That’s one clever dad right there Please feel free to share if you enjoyed it.
Lots more status updates, funny pictures, and video, on our Fan Page.
Octopus sneaks through a small crack on the boat like it’s nothing. Morphs his body into paper thin form and boom, right through that crack. If someone showed me the crack underneath my bedroom door and said, a full sized Octopus can make it through, I would never believe them. Unless they showed me this absolutely insane video.
Have a great weekend, make it last longer share one of these…
20 Great Facebook Statuses:
- Sometimes it takes me a full 8 hours to get nothing done.
- The most tragic victims of irony are the trees cut down to make copies of The Lorax.
- Waldo’s mom must be worried sick.
- Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and another that’s like “I don’t know how to hold a pencil” ?
- Taking 30 minutes to shower, because you like to stand there, under the hot water, just thinking about life.
- …those nights where your brain is like, “f*ck you, we’re not sleeping tonight.. tonight, we’re thinking about random shit ALL NIGHT LONG”
- 1. Where have you been all my life? 2. Go back to there.
- It’s not really drinking alone if the dog’s home.
- The way Americans view the Kardashians is the way the rest of the world views America.
- The future belongs to the kids who climb up the slide instead of using the steps.
- Sadly, the days of people using proper English are went.
- Who decided that we should sit together in groups while we chew food?
- When ppl try to hurt my feelings
I have none
- I have a date tonight, with my bed. We’re totally gonna sleep together.
- I get ignored so much my name should be terms and conditions.
- Taking a nap is always so risky like when will I wake up… In 30 minutes? in 3 hours? in 9 years?? no one can be sure.
- “I’m gonna comment on literally every single thing you post on Facebook till the end of time” – Every relative you have over 45 yrs old
- It’s always awkward the first time you hold hands with someone because they usually want to know who you are and why you just grabbed them.
- Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.
- Sorry I pissed you off, but I find you much more entertaining this way.
People misspelling my name like..
Thanks Mom & Dad!
Fish plays fetch…
This fish is a damn genius!
Lots more status updates, funny pictures, and video, on our Fan Page. Have a great weekend, we’ll see you on Monday!