Funny April Fools Day Status Updates – 2015 Edition

Score more likes on April Fools, share one of these..

Funny Status Updates for April Fools 2015:

  1. When you want to fool the world, tell the truth.
  2. Trust and believe no one. Just like any other day.
  3. Who the hell needs April fools when the rest of 2015 will probably be a joke anyways.
  4. April Fools day is a great day to let your crush know how you feel about them cause if they don’t feel the same way you can just say April Fools.
  5. Just because it’s April Fools doesn’t mean you can hurt other people’s feelings, alright? Be careful, would be pranksters.
  6. Hard to know how to celebrate April Fools when everything is already a joke.
  7. It’s gorgeous outside. I think I’ll take a nap.
  8. I’d rather be someone’s shot of whiskey than everybody’s cup of tea.
  9. My life is about as organized as the $5 bin at Walmart.
  10. Getting back with an ex is like using the same piece of toilet paper twice…
  11. If you wish to avoid seeing a fool you must first break your looking glass.
  12. You can always tell a real friend: when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.
  13. The cat’s out of the bag — I was one of the Mega Millions jackpot winners. And no, I’m not sharing.
  14. OMG. I can’t believe I’m getting my own reality show.
  15. Did anyone else get the email about them canceling school next week?
  16. If anyone wants to use the beach house we rented in Bermuda for two weeks this summer, let me know. The hubby can’t take that much time off from work, so we have to cancel. No charge — we just need someone to take it off our hands.
  17. Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
  18. Oh April Fool’s day, where everyone teeter-totters between brilliance and insanity. Welcome to my World!!
  19. Survived April Fools Day without being pranked, however there was a baby on my doorstep this morning, but I’m pretty sure thats unrelated.
  20. I feel bad for the people who change their birthday for April Fools Day and then their mom wishes them Happy Birthday :)

Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates…

How To Bond With Your Baby..

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LOL, that is pretty clever. The look on the guys face while he does it is absolutely priceless. Feel free to share if you know someone who needs to bond with their baby.

Tons more status updates, funny pictures, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our Free iPhone App.

 

Elbow Hurts, Cat Meets Tigers, & 20 Hilarious Facebook Statuses

Get through Tuesday, share one of these…

20 Hilarious Facebook Statuses:

  1. Next time you’re feeling down about something, just think about the kid who got benched so Air Bud could play.
  2. I’m terribly conflicted when people I hate from work, bring cupcakes.
  3. Know why girls cross their arms when they’re angry? Boobs. Just a little reminder of who’s in charge around here.
  4. Face: “You’re ugly”
    Body: “You’re fat”
    Brain: “You’re stupid”
    Life: “You suck”
    Food: “Come here babe, you’ll be happy with me”
  5. I got a blank space baby and I’ll write your name (even though I did the whole group project).
  6. Horoscopes: When you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend to blame for your failures, try the solar system
  7. My life is kind of like when you’re about to sneeze and then you don’t..
  8. I’m single but it’s serious.
  9. Every pizza has the potential to be a personal pizza if you believe in yourself.
  10. Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. You know, like Tuesday.
  11. I didn’t say “what?” because I can’t hear you. I was giving you a chance to change what you said.
  12. I’m not the friend you put on speaker phone.
  13. It’s funny how “You’re so funny” turns into “You think everything’s a f*cking joke” in just 3 months…
  14. My high school girlfriend got “uses her kids as her facebook profile picture” fat.
  15. Don’t half ass anything. F*ck it up all the way.
  16. There are no bad photos. That’s just how you look sometimes.
  17. Every day is a constant battle of trying to convince myself I don’t like cupcakes.
  18. Can I take a sick day if I’m just sick of work?
  19. I haven’t had coffee yet, so you don’t exist.
  20. I hate when I get to the office and there isn’t a smoking crater where the building is.

Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates…

This happens whenever I search for any minor illness.

Posted by Witty Hilarious and Ridiculously Funny Status Updates on Monday, March 30, 2015

Cat Meets Tigers..

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Bub the little cat was able startle the tiger. How funny is that?!? So cute, pls feel free to like/share if you enjoyed.

Tons more status updates, funny pictures, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our Free iPhone App.

Monkey and His Puppies, End Call, & 20 Clever Status Updates

Make Monday better, share one of these..

20 Clever Facebook Status Updates:

  1. I don’t always have time to study, but when I do, I don’t.
  2. Never give up on your dreams: keep sleeping.
  3. I’m so stressed to the point where I don’t even feel stressed anymore I’m just waiting for everything to collapse in on itself.
  4. You know those guy friends that you’re “like, actually friends with”? Yeah, they all still want to sleep with you.
  5. Life is like a box of chocolates; an emotional chick can destroy one in under 5 minutes.
  6. When I’m quiet:
    1) tired
    2) don’t have anything to talk about
    3) over-thinking
    4) upset
    5) falling apart
    6) all of the above
  7. Got a passcode lock that takes a picture whenever someone tries the wrong code to look in my phone. I now have fifty pictures of drunk me.
  8. What if I told you I could literally cut your phone bill in HALF with an exciting new product called scissors.
  9. Don’t put your implications, based on your misinterpretations, of my thoughts, changing what I said, and what I meant, to what you inferred.
  10. Be stronger than your excuses.
  11. Pour some gluten on me.
  12. If you hear a roommate having loud sex, a cool thing to do is kick down the door and shout “player 3 has entered the game!”
  13. If you didn’t want me stopping by for cake, you shouldn’t have advertised your birthday with balloons & banner on your mailbox.
  14. I may not be a perfect person but at least I have never yelled at an employee in a store.
  15. Nothing is ever on fire. fire is on things.
  16. If really good-looking people are “eye candy” I guess that puts me somewhere around the “eye broccoli” category.
  17. [At job interview]
    Interviewer: Do you have a police record?
    Me: No. But I do have a few of their albums on cassette
    *hires me instantly
  18. When a child is told to say sorry like they mean it, we are essentially teaching them to fake sincerity.
  19. In a 500-day period I could theoretically meet someone, get married, have a baby, and get divorced–and yet I’d still be using the same box of Q-tips.
  20. “Taking candy from a baby” would actually be a responsible thing to do.

Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates…

I swear it knows when you’re doing this.

Posted by Witty Hilarious and Ridiculously Funny Status Updates on Saturday, March 28, 2015

Monkey & His New Puppies..

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That was insanely adorable! Who doesn’t love puppies? Except for cats :P Like/share if you enjoyed.

Tons more status updates, funny pictures, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our Free iPhone App.

Dog Lays on Horn, Cookie Dough, & Best 20 Weekend Status Updates

Make your weekend last longer, share one of these…

Best 20 Weekend Status Updates:

  1. I thought my life would include more impromptu sing-alongs.
  2. Why are people sad when potatoes can be cooked in like 200 ways?
  3. “what’s your major in college?”
    “stress”
  4. Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because, I myself am still a little sore from the impact.
  5. My heart says chocolate and wine, but my jeans are all like, “SALAD.”
  6. I love you enough to actually talk to you on the phone.
  7. All the hot people are engaged. Except for me, of course.
  8. I just wanna stay home and cuddle my dog. Is that a crime?
  9. *drinks 1 bottle of water*
    man I am so good at taking care of myself, I mean wow
  10. Thanks for pretending not to see me while I was pretending not to see you in order to avoid a miserably awkward conversation.
  11. I love when people give me bites of their food, but I hate giving bites of mine.
  12. Keeping your job is the new raise.
  13. If idiots could fly, this place would be an airport.
  14. If you don’t have anything nice to say, say it louder.
  15. The fact that spiders can’t fly is one of God’s many gifts.
  16. I don’t make mistakes too often, but when I do it’s your fault.
  17. I’m not fat.
    I’m just so sexy, it overflows.
  18. You never know how strong you are…. until you’re home alone and have to open your own jar of pickles.
  19. I never do sit ups at home because I absolutely hate domestic ab use.
  20. Leftover bacon? Lol that’s up there with unicorns, leprechauns, and soulmates.

Witty Status | Yesterdays Status Updates…

Dog Lays On Horn When Human Takes Too Long:

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LOL, really people?!? If my dog did this I would never leave him again because of how awesome he is. Like/Share if you enjoyed.

Tons more status updates, funny pictures, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our Free iPhone App. We’ll see you on Monday!